This week on AR: Don't be ugly, dangit!

You have to love a leg of the race that really captures the essence of a place. After all, when in Italy....um, sort clothes? Heft a bell? Assemble a sculpture? Have these people never heard of wine-related tasks? Sheesh. Anyway, here I am: a day late, but brimming with snarky goodness all the same...

Team Hippy: Okay, so they didn't conceive of the idea to book tickets online, and yet the strategy paid off beautifully for them. Really, they had no competition at all on this leg of the race. They did, however, wear the Bowling Moms t-shirts, which was so precious I wanted to puke, but you have to love these guys for their exuberance. Apparently. Even Phil is unable to maintain his basilisk stare in the face of their overwhelming goofiness.

Chuckleheads: We didn't really get a chance to bask in this team's piggishness this leg, for which we all give thanks. They wheelchaired their way into second place with such minimal enthusiasm that even Phil had to comment. Of course, perhaps that was because he'd heard them mock his turtleneck at the clothesline. But really, what is the deal with Phil's clothes? Can't the Travelocity people pony up a little cash to buy him a nice outfit just once? Guess he's just happy he doesn't have to gnome-up.

Ho-Jo: You had to appreciate this team's editing. Juxtaposing comments about how Ho is not a ditzy, dumb blonde in with her consistently mispronouncing Palermo (or Palamino, as Jo preferred) was pure genius. More importantly, she has a tantrum next week! Whoo-hoo! Bring it!

Team Geezer: Once again, they can't find a clue box with both hands and a flashlight. Still, they were clever enough to block Lake-n-puddle from getting the low-down on the faster flights, and they scored an AARP victory by refusing to divulge the location of the roadblock to Dr. Clueless.

Lake and puddle: I couldn't understand why this couple didn't choose to heft the bell - quick, direct, and difficult to screw up. Not like going to the pitstop before the roadblock, thus running up and down the mountainside twice. Dang it! Fortunately, he'd taken anatomy classes (to be a dentist? really?) so was able to assemble the sculpture rapidly. Oh, and Puddle managed to work in her usual wimpishness by completely surrendering all decision making to Lake. Based on her hairstyle throughout much of the race, that was probably a good thing.

Team Nerd: These guys are just SO cute. They almost lost their tempers (apparently, although they didn't seem close to fighting in the version presented on TV), thus causing her to cry in frustration and him to... sweat profusely. His tears on the mat reinforced the fact that he is the nicest man on the planet, and Phil's tiny heart grew three sizes that day as he encouraged the nerds to make physical contact. Awwww!

Yo, Ray: Ray was looking fine as he toted the bell around (Yo wasn't the only one checking out his ass...admit it!). They spent much of the leg driving around in a fog, unable to find the correct directions, and nearly lost it all at the roadblock. However, Ray was able to get his game face on by taunting the Pinks while completing the task. I'm coming like Christmas! Oh, Ray. It sounds so dirty when you say it!

Pinks: Once again, a team thwarted by an inability to drive stick. Here's a thought: get someone to show you how to drive before you go on the show! Odds are good you'll be somewhere where standard is, um, the standard. They also seemed shocked by L-n-P's decision to yield them. They confused "target the weakest link" with "they're threatened by us" and vowed to kick it up a notch. Bam! Yer outta here!