Dirt Roads to City Streets

Something you don't see every day (thank god!)

2008-11-20T16:16:00.002-07:00

Procrastinating, so thought I'd share this. Upon reading it, I was reminded of one of the many bad '80s gross-out movies (yes, children, they made gross-out movies before American Pie, Dumb & Dumber and Harold & Kumar) - I think it was one of the Porky's movies, wherein a young man contemplates the pleasures to be found in a jar with honey and flies. In this life-imitating-bad-art version, the jar contained pasta sauce, and the guy was driving around with a Jack Russell, but you catch the drift. The Aussies eloquently titled this article: Driver convicted for penis in pasta jar. I don't think I can really add anything else to that.

Sidebar on Porky's: did you know that Kim Cattrall was in that one? And Susan Clark and Alex Karras (you know, Webster's parents - more importantly, he was Mongo in Blazing Saddles)? Huh. Guess career suicide was reserved for the sequels.

All I want for Christmas...

2008-11-20T09:29:00.003-07:00

It's that time of year again, when I cautiously begin the shopping sorties that I avoid throughout the rest of the year. It's also the time of year when I give thanks to the great and glorious internet, and its plethora of shopping opportunities that don't require me to brave the mall scrum.

I doubt I'll find any of these treasures under my tree in - dear God! - just over a month, but I had to share: jewellery made from bits and pieces of Barbies. Hey, who doesn't want to own a stylish pendant made from Barbie boobs? Try explaning that to the kiddies...

What's the coolest new technology? You'd be surprised...

2008-11-14T13:57:00.002-07:00

I know it's been awhile since I posted, but I've been busily playing with technology. Yeah, it's a decent excuse, all things considered. I sat in on a video conference recently that extolled the climbing stats and buzz around Twitter (I've been on there a while, though not terribly active). Did you know it's one of the fastest-growing social media sites out there? It's true, although I'm still struggling to find a good business case for it. Dang.

Then, read an article about how taking down one spam re-seller impacted the volume of messages that we all receive from our good friends in Nigeria (see Spam Drops After Internet Providers Disconnect a California Hosting Firm). That's good news, right? A decrease in spam means that my spam filter has less difficulty figuring out what to flag incorrectly (for the next few days, all messages sent to my home account will be flagged that way, to make it easier for me to find them in the deleted folder).

And now, a really interesting article by the fellow behind Second Life. Second Life is one of those social networking things that I've eschewed, mostly on the belief that it requires entirely too much interaction with people, and we both know what my thoughts are about people. Exactly. Don't like 'em all that much.

In spite of his credentials, I decided to give the guy a read. I like to know what the future will bring. I even shelled out on a book by a futurist (which is, let's face it, the world's coolest job: I predict the future based on what I see today! Send money now!) called The Extreme Future: The Top Trends That Will Reshape the World in the Next 20 Years. I don't recommend it, by the way. For a more entertaining read, though it's now dated, I recommend The New New Thing: A Silicon Valley Story, written about the guy behind Silicon Graphics and Netscape. Now there was a guy busily creating his own reality. Wonder what he's doing these days.

Anyway (my digressions now have spawned digressions), here's a guy who successfully innovated with technology that encouraged others to play along and come up with their own versions of reality. I was keen to discover what Philip Rosedale was going to have to say about the future of technology and the technology he was most bullish about going forward. I was more than a little surprised at his answer. Ready for it?

Electricity.

Yep, electricity. The technology that continues to be hair-raising even though it's no longer eyebrow-raising (I couldn't resist that one). Why is he looking at this blast from the past to open the door to newer and more interesting things? Because we're finally getting to what he calls a "tipping point" in decentralized electrical production - the cost of solar cells is finally moving into the affordable range, and as it continues to do so, he predicts it's going to democratize power generation and open the doors to innovation among the planet's poor, who have heretofore been denied the opportunity to pull up a virtual chair at the table.

It's an interesting and powerful idea, and one with more than a little merit. Consider this: historically, we've looked to the frontier, the hinterland, for ideas and creativity. As the heartland settles and establishes itself and veils itself in rules and hierarchies, creativity is perforce stifled. "That's not how we do things" becomes the cry. Instead, it's the guys on the fringe who are still free to push the envelope that come up with the interesting stuff. To counteract that schism between mainstream and fringe, the mainstream likes to swallow down the edgy little guys with the good ideas, absorbing them and making their radical ideas palatable to the masses. There are lots of examples of this throughout history - look at colonization (all of the really interesting stuff comes from the peasants in the colonial backwater who are quietly going about their business, growing tea and cotton and finding gold and silver and using homeopathics to heal themselves), look at business (if you build a better search engine, Microsoft will buy you), look at the politics of the fringe (those chicken littles in Greenpeace who foolishly believe that the sky is falling - can you say Silent Spring anyone?). The edge is interesting and eventually the center absorbs it and seeks a new edge.

So, the edge in this case is the silent masses who have not benefited from our electricity-based culture or technology. Rosedale posits that that will change and that "the developing world is nearing an opportunity to embrace decentralised power generation as a means to survive and thrive and ultimately to innovate."

He concludes:

The global talent pool is set to boom as incredible minds start to look at world problems through fresh eyes and start to envisage the ways in which technology can make a difference to their lives and their surroundings.

So, what's the coolest technology I've seen? Anything born from the right we should all have to innovate.

What does the future of the internet look like? It looks like a world map where even the furthest corners of the planet are able to get online because of the decentralisation of power generation.

What technology is getting me excited right now? Electricity.

We've come full circle but second time around is going to be even better.

Pretty cool, huh? Now, the cynic in me notes that the whole article lets this guy sound like a future-thinker and a dreamer without ever having to sit down and give away his plans for world domination in technology, but I guess that's his right. If I really knew what the future held, I'd probably play that information pretty close to the vest as well, rather than throw it out for the world to see.

Your site as a graph

2008-08-14T14:28:00.002-06:00

This is just too kewl.

This site takes a URL that you choose and will automagically map it out as a funky graph. To the right is this here blog. Blue for links, red for tables, green for div tags, violet for images, yellow for forms, orange for linebreaks, black for root tags and gray for all others. Coolio. Try it with a site of your own. Watch as it rotates. Oooh...pretty....

I'm baaaaaaaaaack

2008-08-14T12:22:00.002-06:00

Okay, okay. Stop poking, prodding, spamming and otherwise heckling. I'll post, I'll post! To be honest, I stopped posting around the time google took over because it became just one more set of passwords I had to manage and remember. Think I'm kidding? Getting back on here took no less than 3 messages from blogger and google to get me back up and running. That, my friends, makes no damned sense.

What's been up with me since last I posted? Well, for the last month, my entire world has been consumed by Tribal Wars. Who knew I was so blood-thirsty? Relax, I haven't gone all gamer on you. ;) It's a war(ish) game, with fighting and tactics and tribes, and 14 year olds swearing vengeance, but it's not a first-person shooter game. Instead, you build up a village, gradually accumulating the troops you need to support yourself and going on "farming" raids to steal additional resources from vacant tribes (or players who aren't as obsessive about logging in). Even attacking another player is clean and bloodless (you send troops, their activity is basically a timer showing how long until they get there, and once they hit their target they instantly turn around and come home).

I somehow managed to find myself in a great tribe, with people who used actual punctuation in their well-written sentences (I know! I was amazed, too!). Then, they made me a tribal leader (assistant diplomat). Things were going well, but evil Riceman kept coming in and kicking our butts, along with his cronies in Death To All (I was in Death Before Dishonor - note that I didn't name the tribe, or it would've had a "u" in there). Tragically, D2A poached many of our better players and the leaders disbanded it. I was suddenly being courted by many other tribes, including D2A, about whom I'd talked so much smack that I couldn't justify going to play with them. So, after accumulating 3 villages and spending waaaaay too much time online, I decided to pull the plug and leave before it took over more of my waking hours.

Seriously. It was scary how involved I got in that space. It began to cut into my time on my Deck of Distinction. And that made no damned sense.

What else? Planning to drive to the coast for my fall vacay, which will be fabu. Pictures from previous trips can be found on my facebook page, which I leave wide open to the world, because apparently I know nothing about security and identity theft. ;)

Also - this just in:

SENATE COMMITTEE ON APPROPRIATION
AND FINANCE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA.
NATIONAL ASSEMBLYCOMPLEX THREE ARMS
ZONE P.M.B 141 ABUJA NIGERIA

Congratulations as we bring to your notice, Officially of the senate house federal
Republic of Nigeria has chosen you by the board committe on appropriation and
finance as one of the final recipients of this new year contract/inheritance file to
celebrate the fiscal 2008 an ATM CARD has been issued out of $5,500,000.00 to
the lucky recipients fill out below information and send it to the Payment Remitance
Office. Full Name..Residential Address:.Occupation: Country:
Telephone:.Atm code:ATM-0081)

Senator Abubakar .D.Sodangi
Phone Number : +2347039406730
Email:atmcardpayment033@ymail.com
ATM PAYMENT DEPARTMENT

Isn't that cool? I didn't have to do anything and the nice people in Nigeria want to give me money. All I have to do is sending them my ATM code and they'll deposit it for me. Nigerians are so nice... ;)

Well ShammaLamma? Is that enough?

Get over it! Banished Words List

2007-04-19T14:17:00.000-06:00

Periodically, I encounter a word that is, like, so last year. Finally, someone is willing to step up and collect those words that no longer need to be spoken with such frequency. You go girl! ;)

Lake Superior State University :: Banished Words List :: 2007

My favourite among them: "BOASTS -- See classified advertisements for houses, says Morris Conklin of Lisboa, Portugal, as in 'master bedroom boasts his-and-her fireplaces -- never 'bathroom apologizes for cracked linoleum,' or 'kitchen laments pathetic placement of electrical outlets.''"

Repress Yourself?

2007-04-17T17:02:00.000-06:00

An interesting article that discusses my favourite crime fighter - Gil Grissom - and how the popularity of one of television's most consistently under-written leading men may be the leading edge of a trend away from the touchy-feely emotional sharing that too often clogs our airwaves (and blogs...no offense ;).

Or, it's just a cool promotional tool. You be the judge. Read:
Repress Yourself.

Stop Global Warming (it's fun!)

2007-04-03T08:16:00.000-06:00

Funny, and a little creepy - particularly William Petersen and his sexy eyebrow. Take a look at the video here.

AR says goodbye to team sicko

2007-02-28T14:19:00.000-07:00

This was an interesting episode, filled with setbacks and recoveries, dramatic meltdowns, idiocy of biblical proportions and one of my pretty boys crying at the landscape. All in all, a pretty decent way to kill an hour while avoiding the Oscars.

So, all the teams begin by leaving the mud bogs that they entered last week. Of course, Chirna and Mirna get stuck, but team Kentucky pulls them out. Awww… The girls note that the coalminers are the nicest people on the race, and you can sense that they’ll ride that pony til she drops. Then, Drew and Kevin get stuck (big surprise…I wish we’d’ve seen them have to change the destroyed tire they limped in on last week, but it was not to be. Or, if it was, I missed it because of my commercial show. My bad). So, the healthy one gets out and decides he’s going to… tow the truck out by attaching it to himself? Just as I’m commenting to myself that it’s the lamest idea in the history of bad ideas, the damn idea works and the truck comes roaring out of the puddle, and the sick one decides to keep motoring, nearly running over his buddy and then dragging him beneath the tires, because, oh, he’s still freakin’ ATTACHED to the damn bumper. He expresses his remorse for this act by slowing down and not apologizing, thus earning himself a small place in reality show history.

Anyway…onto the new and improved travel for the week. We open with Rob & Ambuh and my pretty boys cleverly booking flights that would see them to their first destination some 40 minutes ahead of the sheep who all book on the same flight. But lo! The airport gods are once again fickle, and their flight comes in late. Will this be the end of R&A? Could I possibly be this lucky? Do I want to be this lucky if it means my boys are getting punted out alongside them? Stay tuned!

So, then there’s some driving once the other teams arrive. And no one has any difficulty finding the first destination, which involves them going to a boardroom in Chile? Peru? Something like that. Upon arrival, the teams have to wander around the boardroom cluelessly, looking at … um, clues (letters prominently displayed in the form of doodles, logos, etc.) and puzzle them together to form a word. My first thought was that we’d somehow morphed into an episode of survivor, because when I see a puzzle, I now think islands.

Anyway, the secret letters spell a word that matches a destination portrayed in stunning black and white photography on the walls of the boardroom. So, some teams figure this out instantly, while others take a more crapshoot approach and spell words like “aquarium” in the hopes that they’ll accidentally get it right. They don’t. Uchenna’s big shiny head near bout es'plodes when it takes Joyce for-frickin-ever to figure it out. Mary gives it away to Kevin-or-Drew who is standing behind her (she’s the only one who tries to help the judge by reading the answer aloud). The lone-fratboy wanders around in a hair-product induced fog for about as long as Joyce before he gets it. Joyce, demonstrating keen strategy, gives the answer to the old dude. You know. The one with the hat. Meanwhile, the fake businessmen continue to chatter amongst themselves as though they weren’t surrounded by idiots and incompetents. I admire that dedication in a fake suit.

Anyway, so everyone is now en route to the world’s largest open pit copper mine, where they’ll get their next clue. They have a choice of tasks, explains mini-Philbot, as he schlepped around the mine area, of putting about 50 nuts-and-bolts on one of those monster truck tires or driving a huge front end loader and moving gravel from point A to point B, which is of course a traditional task for the people of the region. The vast majority decide to go with the wheel thing. Rob reminds us that he’s very experienced at driving around heavy equipment because he was in construction for 10 ye-ahs. The key to this task is that both team members have to take a turn driving. R&A breeze through it, no prob. Team Orange has a minor meltdown when the re-read the clue and discover that they both have to do the task (fortunately, one has done everything, so the other only has to go through the motions – insert your own old married couple joke here).

Meanwhile, over on the bolt side of things, Charla and Mirna have a minor meltdown when they discover that big dump trucks are actually, like, big, and that means the need for a stepstool, which causes tall whiny girl to freak while little plucky girl bellows. It was really dramatic television, and even the beauty queens were touched. Or sickened, it was hard to tell. Anyway, team Coalminer is demonstrating their solidarity for their brethren by not giving a flying fig about how well the wheel would stay on the truck, causing Mary to be caustic and pessimistic and David to fall on his ass, which made me hoot aloud, which is of course a traditional response to humour by people in the region.

Team old people gets lost finding the vehicles, prompting old dude to remark that they failed the stop-look-and-listen portion of the test. The coalminers are the last to leave, and Typhoid Mary bemoans same. There is much driving, and they get to this weird landscape called The Valley of the Moon, which is quite possibly where NASA filmed the so-called "lunar landings". My boys cry, even though they feel like bitches about it – bitches with bad nails, to boot! Anyway… everyone is warned that they have to creep along through this area for reasons that aren’t important at this juncture, and most manage to restrain themselves from violating that rule. While en route to the Moon place, Mirla and Chirla realize that the beauty queens are following them, thus riding on their coattails – they’ve paid a cab driver all their money to lead them to their destination. Words are exchanged about same and the pretty girls leave, while team cousin berates the cab driver, because they are giving him their last $20 (aka the food from their mouths) and they make a lot of threatening sign-of-the-cross gestures in his directions. This makes their statements about pure hearts and morals even funnier, because oh, the irony!

Anyway, about half of the teams didn’t get good directions on how to get from the Valley of the Moon to the Valley of the Pitstop, and all hung a right instead of a left, mostly, as Mary pointed out, because the sign to the right had more words, which is always how you know you’re going the right way. Kevin and Drew overlook the fact that they no longer have to creep along and get left in the dust, with the sick one whinging about it the whole time. Some of the teams realize quickly that they’ve taken a wrong turn, while others like to wait and see if everyone else is going to turn around first.

Naturally, Rob and Ambuh came in first, followed by the pretty boys. I sense a pattern here. The other teams straggle in haphazardly, and Mary, who feels slighted that team Cousin passed them in an effort not to be last, comments on it to Phil. Team Gays-in-Orange hug Philbot who discovers he doesn’t actually have a pre-programmed facial response for that. In the end, Kevin and Drew came in last, which was really no surprise, considering how sick the sick one looked. And we learned an important lesson on beauty from Team Cousin, who reminded us that it’s easy to be pretty with the help of cosmetic surgery. I’m already enjoying them a lot less, two weeks into the game, than I thought I would.

Oh, but next week! Danielle, who is now partnered with the fratboy, has a melt down because of a fish! Mmmm… that’s good viewin’, right there, a-yup.

I can't believe that I'm still around

2007-02-22T09:10:00.000-07:00

So...it's been awhile since I blogged and lots has happened. In no particular order:

Basia's mama: is in the hospital and things are not going well. She's no bigger than a minute and doesn't have the reserves to fight an overwhelming battle. I think we're looking at sooner rather than later here, and what's more, I think everyone who cares for her is hoping, considering the pain she's in, that sooner comes sooner than that.

The house: ah...the house. After exciting moments where absolutely nothing happened, I think we're finally on a roll. The hardwood is getting delivered today, the painting is actually progressing, and we're theoretically supposed to have everything finished by the first weekend in March. I've got my fingers crossed.

The move: well...moves. I'm hoping to move mom and I in over the 2nd weekend of March. Nothing booked yet, but I've got some guys who have promised to help, which leads to...

The guest: CarrieAnn moved in before the place was ready, and long story short, it was not an optimal situation. I'm not sure where this going or what's happening in this department, but I think I've gone as far down this road as I can without professional assistance. Those of you who know what I'm talking about are probably nodding and wondering how someone as ostensibly smart as me can be opening my eyes to this only now. What can I say? I have a hard time thinking badly about the people I care about. 'Nuff said.

The surgery: mom's booked to go in March 13, so I'll be taking some time off and then working from home while she recuperates.

The wedding: it was amazing! Fantastico - everything was as beautiful as it could be, and classy and wonderful and while I didn't cry, I did tear up when Jimmy did. Mick was gorgeous, the room was amazing, they both looked so happy ... it was everything a wedding should be *happy sigh*.

What else...I'm sure there should be more. However...not so much with the ringing of bells right now. I'm in the usual Survivor and Amazing Race pools, so I'll try to remember to blog my snark for those less fortunates. Until then, adieu!

What good would living do me?

2007-02-22T09:04:00.000-07:00

It's been periodically noted that I have some... obsessive fannish tendencies. I've been known to fall heavily in lust for celebrities, and thanks to the proliferation of fanfiction, I spend waaaay too much time pondering the state of their naughty bits in conjunction with co-stars' bits. I recognize this and have accepted the character flaw.

Imagine my glee to discover that "real" people (in this case, a published novelist) is similarly afflicted and even weirder and more stalkerish than myself! We even shared a similar obsession: Eric Szmanda (okay - the author likes Nick/Greg, while I myself prefer Gil/Greg slash...it's close enough!). He's written an interesting article detailing his obsession and its bizarre manifestations here, and it's a funny read if you've ever found yourself squeeing a little too heavily about someone you've only seen on television and with whom you'd never have a shot mostly because you love their character and not the person who portrays him.

Molly Ivins dies

2007-02-01T12:44:00.000-07:00

I can't begin to tell you how sad I was to discover that Texan columnist Molly Ivins had passed away as a result of breast cancer. I first discovered her sharp wit nearly 10 years ago. This was a woman who really knew how to turn a phrase, who was the first one I remember calling Bush "Dubya" and "Shrub". She was one of the few liberal columnists who consistently made me laugh and think. She was a good'un, and she'll be missed.

Syndicated Columnist Molly Ivins Dies

Follow your heart....

2007-02-01T10:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, I feel conflicted posting this, because on one hand - what a freak! On the other, hey, I read fanfiction, so I can relate to weird obsessive behaviour. Still...I'm not being filmed with the evidence of said obsessive behaviour all around me, nor am I going into debt to support my habit. I have a house for that, thankyouverymuch.

YouTube - What I Learned from the TMNT ...

In other news... still not living in my house. My coworkers are off next week to a conference in San Diego. Hate my coworkers...

PostSecret

2007-01-30T14:58:00.000-07:00

PostSecret - wow. Just...wow. Take a peek. In a confessional culture, where we all blog or journal or express ourselves with varying degrees of anonymity, it's a strange and powerful slice of the hidden and painful secrets we carry around.

It's beginning to look a lot

2007-01-26T16:39:00.000-07:00

Okay...I'm totally going to hell for finding this funny (I say that a lot lately...I'm sure I've built up enough bad deeds to merit a penthouse condo and a personalized seat at the bar). I saw this last year before Christmas, held on to it intending to blog it, and forgot. Today, I'm cleaning out my inbox. Enjoy!

It's a BK Holiday!

I can feel it coming adrift...

2007-01-25T13:35:00.000-07:00

Have discovered an excessive overuse of exclamation-marked urgent emails in Outlook recently. What's the old saying? A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine? Yeah...something like that...

Get me all blogging multiple times in a day! Maybe this is the start of a trend. Or, maybe not.

All across the alien-nation...

2007-01-25T12:56:00.000-07:00

Read a fantastic article this morning that piqued my interest in a lot of ways. If you are of my vintage it might ring some bells for you too.

Growing up, my mom was considered to be one of the "cool" moms. This may have something to do with the fact that she's less than 20 years older than I am (a few of my friends had siblings who went to school with her). But more than that, she had a young attitude and outlook on life. She listened to some of the popular music of the day, we dressed about the same, which amounted to sorta-preppy-but-with-jeans, and you didn't have to worry about getting in trouble for swearing in front of her (though if you dropped the H-bomb, watch out). My friends were envious, because their moms were all about good nutrition and making your beds and wearing a nice pearl necklace and watching Phil Donahue and not staying up late to watch Saturday Night Live. Don't get me started on how radically different she is from that person most of the time these days.

But still. She was cool. I basked in the glory when she took JAG and me to see Best Little Whorehouse in Texas while we were in junior high. I don't think she was trying to be cool; she just found her outlook on life coinciding with mine. It was a purely serendipitous thing.

The trend discussed in this article: Up With Grups - The Ascendant Breed of Grown-Ups Who Are Redefining Adulthood in New York Magazine is rather different. The author talks about people my age still working the whole youth vibe and attempting to mold their kids into teeny Ramones-wearing, Killers-listening mini-me's.

Now, I've long argued to anyone who will sit and listen that having children means that you get to re-parent yourself. You reinforce in your parenting all the things your folks did "right" in your opinion, and use it as an opportunity to "fix" the stuff they screwed up. They didn't take you anywhere as a kid? Well, your kid will learn how to travel! Your parents forced you to go to church? Well, your kid will learn about world religions and decide for herself which path to follow! That sort of thing. Nevermind that your kid gets seasick and would welcome the structure of conventional religion - it's not really about them, and what do they know anyway?

Okay, I over-simplify. But the article talks about parents who are so concerned about losing their cool that they've swung miles from what we understand parenthood to be about. Sure, your dad might have worked a soul-sucking job in order to provide stability and opportunities for you to play little league and go to college one day. Not you! No, you're never going to give up the things that make you passionate! You're going to skateboard or be a gamer or eschew suits and wear sneakers to work forever! Which, okay, are all good goals, but tend to keep you in the mindset that says I'm not really a grown-up, I'm still young! I'm hip! And it doesn't matter that I'm now completely responsible for the lives of these small people - I can still follow my passion and be hip and not change in any way from the person I was at 20. Go me!

Okay...I'm conflicted on the whole subject. I was a student for 200 years, so I stayed in the twilight of youth for a lot longer than many of my contemporaries. And I get how seductive it is, to be unfettered, to reject the stifling strictures of traditional adulthood that demand that things are no longer all about you. But still - to be the kind of parent that chases after cool to the exclusion of providing a model that a child could aspire to? Doesn't that seem a bit short-sighted? Sure, your cool-quotient among your kids' friends is high, but when does it end? Are you going to be a senior-citizen still playing shooting games and schlepping around the house in skater togs?

I know, I know. I over-generalize, and since I don't have kids of mine own, I over-simplify, and probably offend. I like to think I'd be a kinda-cool mom, the kind that didn't lay down so many rules that my kids were forced out of the house. On the other hand, I like to think that I'd still instill respect for old people and animals and teach responsibility and that sometimes you have to do stuff you don't like to do because that stuff still needs to get done.

I get that following your passion is important. I sometimes wonder how I ended up where I am, where I cut-n-paste for a living instead of working a much lower-paying gig that impacts peoples' lives. I just found other ways to do that, and enjoy the paycheque, too. I guess I'm more about balance than passion. Or perhaps I burnt out on passion while a student and a quiet non-trendy life now looks a lot better to me.

Wow...I wandered all over the map with this one. I guess I'll blame Hollywood and the PR machine that says that the only valuable culture out there is youth (not entirely true - the other valuable cultures are 'old, rich white guy' and 'celebrity'... yeah, that's about it). There are no good, solid adult role models out there. Being an adult means being uncool, and being uncool is only useful as a foil for how cool everyone should be. Hey - if we all end up cool, does that mean that uncool will become the new cool, like 30 is the new 20 and auburn is the new blonde?

No white flag above my door...

2007-01-16T14:09:00.000-07:00

...okay, so the whole blog-a-week thing didn't pan out. Anyone surprised? C'mon...raise your hands. Right. So. Well.

What's been going on since last I wrote? Well, yesterday I officially kicked off the new year with the first fall of the season. In my defense, I tried to prevent it by wearing sneakers instead of work shoes, but still went arse over teakettle in the parking lot. As a new twist for 2007, I shotput my purse away from me, with enough g-force so that it didn't lose any of the coinage in the unzipped pockets, and soundly thumped the truck nearest me, causing the driver, who was sipping coffee, reading the paper and minding his own bidness, to near-bout shat himself trying to figure out what the earth-shaking thump was. Happily, I walked away from the fall without mishap and had nary a twisted ankle or popped knee to bitch about.

What else? Oh, my contractor finally came out of the woodwork and gave me a painting quote. Quite a bit higher than I anticipated (Damn Francesco and his expensive colours!), but at this point, I'm willing to pay almost anything to put this thing to bed and start living in the house that I'm paying for. I probably shouldn't cop to that, particularly since I haven't received a flooring quote, the mere thought of which already has me eyeballing my remaining inheritance warily.

Haven't spoken to anyone in ages and ages...hermitting big-time. Might have to invite Basia over this weekend, as I need solid motivation for cleaning my house. Still haven't packed a jeezly thing, either, which at some point might become problematic. I'm anticipating giving notice at the end of this month, which means I need to be packed and book movers and arrange for someone to come in and give the place a thorough scrub before I hand over the keys. I guess I've been taking full advantage of the calm before the storm. An organized person (ShammaLamma) would have a plan in place, although a disorganized person (ShammaLamma...she's got lots of facets) still would have no actual work done. I need a timeline in place soon so I can figure out when I need to take time off to get the big move and unpack accomplished. Really looking forward to that. No...really.

Joshie's birthday is this week. Mustn't forget that. I'm looking forward to being in the new place and having room to have a few projects on the go. I want to give the bratlings homemade scarves and/or toques for Christmas next year, but haven't really got the room or the comfort to attempt in my current environs.

Getting the antique couch/chair set I inherited along with the house recovered fairly shortly. I talked mom out of everything she liked and willfully chose something that appealed to me. It's going to be pricey, but cheaper than buying new, and the set is built like a tank. Plus, they strip the thing down to wood anyway, so it's like new. Plus, it's like 9 feet long and the best napping couch (what...I had to test it out).

License plates I've seen on the roads recently that made me snorfle: cugrrrr, ehtozed, giphted. Bumper sticker: Let me be your plumber. I want to buy a hummer.

On that note...later hosen.

Sky of memory and shadow...

2007-01-03T22:49:00.000-07:00

Trying something new this year - the weekly blog.

So, you ever have one of those days where you can't get a song out of your head? Something old and half-forgotten? I get that a lot, mostly because I listen to Jack, which bombards me with old tunes (sidebar: I was reading a list of MSNBC's list of the best 10 albums of the year, and I didn't recognize one of them. Worse, I only barely recognized the artists. This does not bode well for my waning quotient of cool).

Anyway: old tunes. Instead of getting stuck in an endless loop of some disco tune, or Weird Al's White and Nerdy (okay, that was last week's recurring song), this week, it's old snatches of songs from elementary school. Does anyone recognize these?

I love to go, a-wandering, along a mountain track....and as I go, I love to sing, my napsack on my back....valdereeeeeee valderaaaaaaaa... well, it goes on, but there's no need to punish everyone.
something with a chorus of Ocky-tocky-unga and a tickle of a memory that it's supposed to be about the Inuit.
Big A, little a, bouncing B...the cat's in the cradle and he can't catch me (okay, more of a rhyme than a song).
I'm a little piece of tin, nobody knows where I have been...got 4 wheels and a running board, I'm a 4 wheel, I'm a Ford, honk-honk, rattle-rattle-rattle, crash beep-beep... it goes on in that vein.
Once a yodler went yodeling in a mountain so high, when along came a pretty girl interrupting his cry.... (there are actions and exclamations for choruses, far too many of which still live in brain).

The weirdest was waking up one morning with the complete We Three Kings of Orient Are running through my brain. Sure, it was Christmas, which gave me an excuse, but I know darned well I haven't heard the song in years, and haven't sung it in nearly 20 years. And I still barely know my address and consider myself lucky on a daily basis that I can find my way home. Sheesh!

What else can I share about my week. It was kind of quiet, all things considered. Our major project is wrapping up on the weekend, and then it'll be time to start working on all those things that we've been back-burnering, assuming the new boss doesn't have different priorities for us. What else? Oh, nothing out of the ordinary. Just one mostly-naked coworker in my office this afternoon (you know who you are!). You know... same-old, same-old.

My computer is back and running, although it still has enough quirks to piss me off. It's latest trick is to refuse to display any of the text on some of my favourite web sites, like the Drudge Report. It opens the page, displays the skeezy broke-neck picture of Saddam and refuses to display text. Argh! I've found a work-around, but it irks me to have to do that. Oh well.

Oooh...and I got a camera for Christmas, so there's officially no excuse for me to not post pictures now. Not that there was an excuse before, but, well, you know. Once there's actual progress on my new place, you can expect to see the odd image here for your amusement and edification.

Until then...adieu.

Better than ice cream...

2006-12-15T12:00:00.000-07:00

So... here I am. On my day off. At work. Coming up on 6 hours now. I know, I know. Poor me. After all, I dig ditches for a living. Er... shovel coal. No, wait. I chase preschoolers around. Um. Tame lions? No? Right. I copy-and-paste for a living. Right. So, poor me.

Anyway...been here for hours waiting for something that was supposed to need my urgent attention first thing this morning. Uh huh. What-evah. I have used the time productively (right up until I decided to blog, that is!), and now I'm taking a break.

Was supposed to go for lunch with KLT today, which plan done tanked, being as how I'm chained to my computer for the duration. Which sucks on a number of levels, as it's been approximately forever since we got together, plus - lunch. Who doesn't love lunch?

What else has been happening since I last posted (earlier this week! Twice in a week!)... Went for supper with Basia last night, which was fun, as always. She's been sik, which is never fun, but appears to be getting better and all reconnected and stuff, which is also good. She toured my new digs and has plans for the cleansing that needs to happen. Shared with me the inner working of Hippie Foods, which I find fascinating for some reason.

Oh, been meaning to share this. Recently, the city passed a bylaw making it illegal to leave your bodily excretions on the street - spit, urine...the works. Then there was a case where a homeless guy spit into a garbage can and got fined, which seemed a bit harsh. Anyway, I was walking to my parking stall a few nights ago, down a dark and less-than-fresh smelling alley, where I have to watch my step lest I skid in said excretions and there I saw it: the homeless response to the new bylaw. In a fruit box (the kind you get peaches in when you're canning) was a big steaming pile of human do-do. Not on the street - it was in a box. Easy to pick up, if your hobbies include collecting excrement. I wonder if that was a politically-motivated statement, or just an example of 'dude, I gotta go!'. A mystery for the ages, truly.

Last word(s): Gizmodo, The Gadget Guide - Coolest. Site. Ever.

Long time gone...

2006-12-11T13:24:00.000-07:00

Okay...been gone a loooooong time, and finally, finally taking a few minutes to update you on what's been happening in Marie-land. This is going to take awhile, so sit down, grab a cuppa, and get comfy.

Big news first: the House!!
Yes, boys and girls. After renting for a zillion years, and moving far too often, I'm finally settling down and buying property of my own, which means, I hope, that I'll have a chance to memorize a postal code before I die. The place has a lot of potential (more, now that Francesco and Christmas have visited and helped me pick wall colours), and I'm putting down all new flooring and painting everything before I move in. And by "I", of course, I mean "people I'm paying". The house has 5 bedrooms, so plenty of room for me and my books, and mom and her stuff. Yes, my mom is moving in with me. I'm hopeful it will work out - she likes to putter and do projects, and I don't, so it means I pay for materials and she makes stuff happen. Plus, it's a bi-level, which means we each have our own space, and it's got a fireplace and a huge backyard (which Max-the-wonderdog will love) that Carriola has already staked out for growing projects (no, she won't be living there, but she does live a handful of blocks away, and she and her kidlets will be frequent visitors). I'm hoping (for reasons I'll explain below) to get into the place by mid-January, and have tentative plans for a house-warming party in early summer. Provided I can get all the boxes unpacked by that point. Fingers crossed. I'm very, very hopeful that I won't be moving again any time soon. I think my personal best as an adult is two-and-a-half-years at the same address. Let's see if I can make it to five years. Oh, and I had the best real estate agent ever, so let me know if you're in the market for someone. Mom never fully settled on an appropriate nickname (although Spike and Double-double were tossed around), she's definitely a keeper.

In related news, especially as relates to the timing of the project, mom is going for surgery at the end of January. It's complicated and not entirely risk-free, but we're all hopeful it will give her back some of the quality of life that has slowly been deteriorating over the past few years. Kellogg is going to take time off to assist mom afterwards, and I think mom's sister is as well, so I'll be breaking in those guest rooms fairly quickly.

Traveling along...
I took a wonderful vacay earlier this fall with my bestest friend Basia. We flew (first-class, baby!) to Boston and spent 10ish days there. It was amazing - the best parts of the trip were the ones we didn't plan for. We both fell in love with Provincetown on Cape Cod, which has to be the most tolerant and left-leaning town in the US. It was almost like being in Canada! ;) We took the opportunity to go whale-watching, which Blew. My. Mind. It was the coolest thing I've ever done. Okay, that sounds like I personal drove the boat and spotted the whales, when in reality I was totally along for the ride. But still! I was braced for sea-sickness and nausea, neither of which appeared, and it was just the best day on the ocean ever. Basia and I ate seafood every day (including once for breakfast, which was actually a little gross), and spent time at Salem, checking out the witchy stuff, and in Salem, NH, where we visited America's Stonehenge which turned out to be one of the unexpected highlights of the trip. Sure, there was also outlet mall shopping, and buying waaaaaay too many Yankee candles in Maine, but the real highlights were the beaches and wee little out of the way places we discovered. My favourite beach was in Maine - black sand, amazing rocks, flat-flat-flat. We also visited lighthouses and brought home a ton of shells and stones and and and. It was our best vacay yet, and we're already planning next fall's excursion to New Mexico. If I get organized, I'll post some pics.

I'm a real, live girl!
After consulting with my company for a couple of years, I'm finally an employee. Sure, it meant a bit of a pay cut, but they tell me that the benefits are worth it. It's been so long since I worked somewhere with benefits that I'm taking their word for it! About the only change, from a day-to-day perspective, is that I now have an office with a window (it looks into someone else's window, but technically, I could stand really close and look up and see a sliver of sky), and I've got the password for the top-secret bomb shelter. Just kidding. No I'm not. Yes I am. The downside is that Mickelous is now in a different building, and not on the floor directly above me, which means I don't get to see him as much anymore, and his travels mean we don't have the opportunity to carpool. My drive-home bloodpressure thanks him, but I do miss him.

Fortunately, Lisel makes up for his absence by telling me all kinds of things I'm not allowed to share. She also stepped in to badger me (in a much politer fashion than Mickelous ever did) into participating in a cleanse. I'm on Day 7 of 9, and not noticing a great whacking change so far, which is a bit disappointing. If you must cleanse, then you should at least notice that it's happening, other than at mealtimes when you consume a shake instead of something solid. The next two days are going to be spent drinking goo again - it's slightly viscous - about the consistency of liquid plumbr (with only moderately improved taste) and it's not something I'm looking forward to. But, a deal's a deal. I do this and hopefully no one will ever make me do it again. Plus, what was I thinking to be cleansing during the pre-Christmas season? I missed out on all the goodies at the kids' Christmas party on Saturday (all those iced cookies that I eschewed rather than chewed!). Fortunately, I'll be finished in time for the adult party this Saturday, which promises to be its usual barn-burning good time.

Racers ready!
Yes, spending too much time watching Amazing Race this season (I won, in one office pool, and lost in another, thanks to my Hillbillies). I find that the show gives me tremendous opportunities to mock and heckle, which are skills I've spent many years honing. I've not been able to get into Survivor, in spite of the fact that one of my picks (Ozzy) is still in the running for the big bucks. I might not participate in the next pool - if you can't watch your investment, there's really no point.

Other television-related news. Hmmm.. I've really, really cut back this year. Like, to the point where I wonder why I'm spending such an obscene amount of money on cable. Then I remember that when I do watch, I pick up shows on the east-coast channels so I can get my viewing out of the way earlier. I'm still not engaged in either CSI or NCIS, shows which completely dominated my viewing last season. I follow, but rarely watch, Stargate: Atlantis, and have become wild about actor David Hewlett who is amazing. If you haven't already seen it, you must watch this clip on YouTube of him and his dog in his latest movie: A Dog's Breakfast. There's another great clip out there of him wearing nothing more than a rubber ducky, which I also recommend.

Things I haven't done that I meant to, really
I guess you could think of this as an early take on New Year's Resolutions (or just a look back over the year)

I'd planned to go for coffee with Apple Pie Dave, and that didn't happen.
I planned to call KLT, and it didn't happen (fortunately, she took pity and called me in spite of the threatening overtones of her last message, and we will probably get together before the year is out).
I meant to have Nancella redo the floors in my new house (squeee!) but the timing just didn't work out and she's been really great about not doing the work for me, although I continue to feel guilty because it's what I do.
I meant to go to Rhode Island on my vacay and didn't, so it remains on my list of places to go when I return to New England, because after having such a great time and seeing absolutely nothing in Boston, I will be returning.
I meant to send a card to Ken H. who is fighting cancer so valiantly with the help of his family. I will do that before the season is over.
I meant to write a novel in November for NaNoWriMo, but that didn't happen. I got started and promptly realized that spending 20 minutes thinking about it in advance was not the way to go. Next year?
I meant to be a better friend to all of the amazing people who put up with me and make every effort to stay in touch when I'm clearly too big of a wanker to do it myself. I'm hoping that living in a new place, with company that keeps me from hermitting, will inspire me to invite people over and entertain a little bit, fer Gawd's sake.

Odds are pretty good I won't blog again in 2006, so if I don't see you before 2007 comes along, have a happy holiday season!

Keep following the wrong gods home...

2006-09-23T00:53:00.000-06:00

Just took the coolest little personality test - personality DNA it's called. Apparently, I'm an imaginative thinker, which kind of fits, once you read the criteria behind it. I was a bit perturbed by my low imaginative score, but I was off the charts, empathy-wise, so whatcha gonna do? Wanna read more about me? Who doesn't? ;) Seriously, click the image below to take the test, mouse over the colour bars for a high-level description of me, read my complete results and then take the test yourself. Let me know how you scored.

Generous Thinker

So, only a few more days, and then Basia and I jet off to Bawston, and all the adventure that awaits us there. We're both looking forward to it - it's been a long summer, and we both deserve a break.

Remember that personal epiphany I mentioned a while back? Yeah, still working on it. I had the chance to participate in a pattern-breaking workshop and I thought seriously about it. For a long time. I literally spent more time thinking about taking a course that committed me to 4 weekends and a week retreat than I did pondering if and where I should complete my last two degrees (if you haven't checked it out already, my personality profile suggests I'm fairly spontaneous). In the end, I just couldn't do it. However, I think it's served it's purpose already - I'm thinking about the stuff I would have thought about there, I'm making some plans for changing that I need to make, and I think I've been nudged in the right direction. Keep fingers crossed for me.

In other news...Mickelous got accepted at a new position within the company. I'm thrilled for him, because he's the kind of guy who has been destined to set the world on fire, you know? One of those movers-and-shakers, the kind that you tell other people "I knew him when...". Heck, he got me my job, which allowed me to quit teaching, earn a schwack of O&G money, support the family farm and now fly first class. So, I'd be a first-class chump if I wasn't happy, right?

Oh, but a large, selfish, childish part of me is not happy. He's been mine for three years now - one of the best friends I've ever had. I see him every day, we eat lunch together all the time, we geek out over sudoku, I know far too much about his personal life... and before that, when I lived in the States, he called and shared his excitement about proposing to Jimmy, and before that, we were tattoo-sisters... In other words, he's the brother I would have loved to have had, and he badgers and bugs me to do his bidding because he can and I let him and it's going to be so very, very strange not to have him close to hand when I want to see him or talk to him or watch the silly look he gets on his face when he's teased me into ranting at him, or he's giving me the gears for not driving in the fast lane on the way home...

Sheesh. Listen to me whinge. The man is moving two floors above me in the same building, and until I buy a house, he still lives in the condo building next door. It's not like he's moving to Australia and I'm never going to see him again. Sure, he'll be out of the office a lot, and he won't be there for me to bug and pester and pick on and just dote over, because let's face it, I harbour a significant amount of goofy love for him, but he'll still be there, and just because I don't love change (see earlier comment re: personality test), doesn't mean that all of the good stuff will stop. I'll just have to work at it more, and that's okay, because he's worth it.

And if you tell him I said all this sappy stuff, I'll punch you in the nose. So there.

What else is going on? Oh, watched the first round of Amazing Race and crafted a very long and highly catty review, which I'll try to remember to post one of these days. I got kudos, although I suspect they could be thinly veiled attempts to disguise shock at how much time and energy I spend on shows that I openly mocked only a short time ago (i.e., before I started betting money on them, and thus felt the urge to pay attention to them, and mock from a position of fandom, rather than superior ignorance. Don't get me started).

Speaking of television...watched the season opener for CSI. Loves me the pretty smart men. Aside: I stopped watching House, although he totally falls into that snarky, smart category that I find so appealing. Why? Well, while he was great, everyone else (other than Wilson - Gawd, I love Wilson, but who doesn't?), the stooges...er, ducklings, were so vapid as to make my molars ache, what with the grinding and the clenching. I bet that's something the Nielson people don't hear a lot: I stopped watching the show to make my dentist happy. Or maybe they do hear it a lot. What the hell do I know?

But CSI. Grissom shaved off the beard, and has finally grown into that baby face of his. Darling Nicky shaved his head and looks like a doofus. Again with the bad 'do. Greg was almost non-existent, which made me sad, and Bobby D and Archie were invisible, in spite of all the gun testing and video footaging going on. And Hodges still isn't a regular member of the cast, but Sophia is? WTF? And Cat got drugged by roofies (which, okay, why haven't they pursued that angle before, and wouldn't it have made more sense if it was, say, alcoholic Sara?), and I swear to God I will scream if they turn that into a major plot point over the season, in light of how they basically ignored Nick's day-in-the-life-of-an-undead-corpse and how that will really fuck you up for more than the first 2 or 3 episodes of the next season. Ditto with the screaming if we have to see Grissom making the goo-goo eyes at Sara. This is what is going to drive me away from the series - I could care less about McDreamy, I just wanted to see Nicky dance with Gil. Or Greg. Or Greg and Gil. Or if he must hold on to the illusion of heterosexuality, at least learn how to dance like a straight man because come on! Oh, and the plot bounced around like a pinball and I didn't really care about any of it, and they seemed to be phoning in the a-ha moments, but let's face it - I really want to watch that Cirque du Soliel show with the acrobats running and dancing on the theatre wall, because that was just too damned cool.

In other news... NCIS is back, and I'm equally bored with the plot lines there. Someone shoot the Director, shave Gibbs and put him back in his many hot-man layers, strip Tony down and make him the office coffee boy (ditto Palmer, because those dimples are going to waste in the morgue), lose the new girl, send Zi-va off to a new agency, give Abby and Bert the farting hippo more screen time (maybe McGeek, too) and just put Ducky in charge, since he apparently knows everything. Because come on! I'm not watching this show for the crime, people!

I sure spend an inordinate amount of time talking about television, considering I've cut back to only a few hours a week. Oh well...the ranting keeps my brain relatively sharp, and keeps me from thinking about my ever-growing pre-holiday to-do list.

Before I go: a couple of fantastic video bits you've got to see: Where the hell is Matt (world's worst dancing set to amazing soundtrack - watch the 2005 one first). And a great bit by Flight of the Conchords - do a search on watch all their stuff - it's great.

A lion's just a great big cat, a lady pig's a sow...

2006-09-11T22:24:00.000-06:00

[insert ususal non-sincere apology for length between postings here]

So, time goes by and once again I'm writing. In the immortal words of the Commodores: What's Going On??

Books
Not a lot of reading of traditional books going on here...still plowing my way through a few of the books I mentioned after my last trip. Been reading some wonderful and occasionally smutty online stuff, which is free, although periodically chains me to my computer, which I could live without. Nothing to really recommend at the moment, but that will change, because...

Vacation
Coming up soon! 15 more sleeps, proclaims Basia. Can't hardly wait, sez I. It will be good. We've got only the vaguest of notions of where we want to go and what we want to see, so we're winging it a lot more than usual, which can only be for the good, in my book. If I see sand and water and the occasional literary mecca, I'll consider it a good trip. If I spend very few hours in a mall, that'll be even better (I'm a kamikaze shopper - get in, risk life and limb, and get the foik outta there). Depending on the internet connection we get at the hotel, I may blog from the east coast whilst the memories are still fresh.

Friends

Ryman is officially a legal celeb, with his very first magazine cover. Swoon!
Lisel is back from a recent and amazing trip to Mongolia, and is currently dancing with a mailman.
Banana is getting married. Sniff...our little Gilster, all grown up!
Jer just sold us an investment share in a strip mall...and when did people I know start to get all responsible and shite?
CarrieAnne is happy and healthy and loving her job...it's a trifecta of sqeeee for her (go Carrie!)
Mickelous, of course, has exploits to steamy to mention...not that that stops him. Bastard.
Dawnski is adjusting to her empty nest...can't wait to hear where her next adventure takes her
Jimbo (aka Big Ugly Jim) is gearing up to leave the city...wtf? Won't be the same without ye...
Haven't recently heard from George, ApplePie Dave or Gavin recently, but that's more my fault than theirs. I will one day get my poop in a scoop and try to renegotiate those friendships. Fingers crossed.

House news
Still not house-poor, although we're creeping closer. I think I finally have a good idea of what are the must-haves and what are the nice-to-haves in the equation. We'll see how that goes...

TV season
After a blissful season of non-television, we're gearing up for the new season. How do I know this? Because tells me so (whoo - weird flashback to vacation bible school there...). Just got my first snarky recap of the season: Cane-Free but still Lame (referencing House). I've also got my pools lined up for Amazing Race and Survivor, which is another clue. None of the new shows really capture my interest, at least based on their frantic write-ups, although I watched about 30 seconds of some new FBI kidnapping show featuring Brian from QaF. Plus: hot FBI guy with a gun. Minus: no naked men cavorting. It won't last the season. I'll be tuning in for CSI (even though the relationship between Gil and Sara makes me cringe; he totally should be with Nick. Or Greg. Or Nick and Greg. And I'll watch NCIS, even though Gibbs and Tony have yet to consummate their complicated relationship. What? Is it wrong that I see hot gay sex where none exists? What?

Other stuff
Well, I've got this whole weird kind of personal epiphany thing going on, and I'll keep you posted in the manner in which it eventually manifests itself. I've been using some of my quality hermit time to actually get all introspecty on my ass, which is weird and so unlike me. I prefer my personal insights to be alcohol-fueled and as seldom as possible. Still... maybe this is the kind of thing that happens when you get all, old and shit.

Well, so much for the "sharing" portion of our telecast. I'm going to wrap things up here, because I can and you're not the boss of me. Did I mention my sisters (plural!) were going to Switzerland? Yeah, still hate my sisters...

Once I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie)

2006-07-04T13:18:00.000-06:00

Okay, okay, been a long time, yadda yadda yadda. After much heckling and prodding from Lisel and Christmas, I figured it was time to get caught back up again. Brace yourself for a long missive, as there's a fair bit of ground to cover.

Farm
The deal is done, and the farm is gone. The packing and winnowing process was exhausting (more so for Mom-n-ShammaLammaDingDong than for me), but we all put in long hours. Snaps to Cody-la for all his efforts in organizing our crap. Kudos for his attempts to rein in my mother who insisted on packing and storing everything collected over multiple generations. Sure, some stuff will be saleable, but we ended up with a lot more stuff than I'm going to be able to afford to house. That does *not* include all the books with which I shall soon be reunited (all bow down and worship the books! Ohmmmmm).

Okay, so as part of the whole packing process, it might have been wise to reschedule our self-hosted bon voyage party. Yes, we ended up throwing ourselves a going away party the evening before the movers arrived, which meant we had to pause in our last minute packing in order to prep for the party (not that we prepped too strenuously - it was also a good way to clean out the fridge!), and although we ran out of booze early, some of our guests stayed well into the night, singing their little hearts out. Sure, I went to bed early, because someone needed to get up and get things going the next day, but the singers were positioned right outside my window on the deck. And they were singing country! With bad (though authentic) German accents! And screwing up the words! Argh!!

We were able to haul our assorted carcasses out of bed around 5:30 a.m., and move the items we had stored in various outbuildings to one central location, to minimze the hassle for the movers. Best of all, in spite of the assorted family members we'd wrangled to help with the loading, the movers insisted we stay the heck out of the way, and proceeded to load (wait for it) 20,000 pounds of crap onto the semi.

Kelster had rented another van to take some of Mom's and ShammaLamma's stuff to her house, so we had that to look forward to after a full day of watching other people move stuff. Then, we had to turn around the next day and return the van to the Hat.

So, much, much work in a short period of time, and no real chance to get out and say goodbye to the old homestead, which in retrospect might have been a good thing, as it kept everyone from getting to maudlin (Gramma excepted, of course). It's weird not to have anywhere to go on the weekends, and I keep tripping over myself when I think about the farm, and my hometown, and all related matters. It's like the missing tooth your tongue keeps searching out. I know at some point, it'll seem natural and not a big deal. That point has not yet happened. Keep posted. I'll probably mention it a month or two after it happens...

Vacation
After the hectic few weeks of packing and moving, I took my annual excursion to the interior of BC, enjoying as always the company of my bestest friend Basia. We spent a goodly amount of time at the beach this year, where she rockhunted and I read. I also braved the frigid waters (gasping and shuddering the whole time), which I'd intended to do in previous years but had chickened out. We had an excellent time, purchased many books, and brought home many rocks. We did not, to the delight of the P. Papa, starve at any point, although our decision to stay an extra day caused him some concern on that front.

Next year, our gracious hosts are not likely to be in the accommodation business anymore, so we're considering taking our early summer break somewhere further west, perhaps Tofino. Basia is already doing the research, planning stops and stays, whilst I take my usual role in these matters: awaiting instruction on where and when to show up. ;)

Speaking of vacations, we've finally booked our fall holiday. We're venturing to Bawston for a week of chowder and sight seeing. We'll be detouring into Providence and Maine for at least part of the trip, as well as examining the sights in the Mass. area, including Salem. We're both looking forward to it. Again, Basia has done much research and has a lot of things she wants to see. I, on the other hand, want to see Harvard, Providence, and Cape Cod. My list jives nicely with hers, so we're looking forward to another great trip.

House hunting
Not much to add on this topic. The prices are outrageous in Cow Town, but needs must... right? I'll keep you posted when I begin the search in earnest. Or, you know, mention it a couple of months after I've moved in. Whatever. ;)

Books
I bought and read many light and fluffy books while on vacation this year (okay, I also bought The Romantic by Barbara Gowdy, which is neither). I picked up, though have only just dipped my toe into A Salty Piece of Land, by Jimmy Buffett (yes, Mr. Margarittaville). It's been amusing so far - I'll keep you posted. I've got a whole whack of books on my to-read shelf, and I continue to buy although I haven't made much headway on the stack.

Oh! But I did get a chance to read and ADORE Pearl's book: Madame Zee. I have lent it out (in one case, lost it and had to buy a new copy) and recommended it to everyone I can think of. I also went to Pearl's book reading, which was fabulous, and a great way to see familiar faces (not, unfortunately, Robert's, but you can't have everything). I can't wait to see what kinds of awards this one garners, because it is such a strong, well-written book. Fingers crossed there!

I owe Apple Pie Dave a call one of these days, as he's been reading some Bill Bryson and needed someone to chat with about it. One day, Dave. One day...

Work
Seems petty to bring this up here. Client from hell sucking all enjoyment of the job away. Project soon to be gone (fingers braided on that one). Things have been busy, but a lot of that has to do with taking a vacation out of synch with the rest of the company. Everyone wanted work done before they left for the July long weekend, and I was not getting it done because I was not here. C'est la vie. The funny thing about work is that there's always more of it... ;)

Movies
Those who know me know that I don't go out to movies (my attention span has become notoriously brief -- I need a commercial show, or a way to avoid a painful scene). But, I've recently watched a couple of goodies on television or movie channels that I want to recommend, in case you missed them yourself.

The Station Agent: I'd heard amazing things about this one when it first came out, but it exceded my expectations. Only one cringe-worthy scene in there that bothered me, but an amazing cast and an excellent script more than make up for it. If you've seen it, let me know if it bothers you how they handled Joe's departure from the storyline. One minute he's there, helping his dad by running the "shop", then he's gone and when he comes back, there's not a word about his dad, his dad's health, the reason he left, how he could afford that car...nothing. That was the only off note for me in the whole thing.

Touch of Pink: another *amazing* cast. Imagine having an imaginary friend named Cary Grant... as an adult. Wonderful Canadian actors liven up what might otherwise have been a fairly pedestrian 'coming out' story. Jimi Mistry is amazing, and cute as a damn bug.

Dawn of the Dead: Yes, I know. I don't usually watch horror films, but this was good. Some wonderful moments of levity, in amongst the gratuitous gore of headshooting the twitchers. When there's no room in hell, the dead... go to the mall. If you've been there, you've probably seen them.

Chronicles of Narnia: predictable in many ways, and annoying in a number of others. A decent movie, but one I'm glad I didn't pay big bucks to watch.

Corpse Bride: weird and wonderful, in the way that all Tim Burton movies are. If you enjoy stop motion animation, check out the CBC's truly twisted animated series What it's Like Being Alone. I only caught a snippet this week, but I'm confuzzled and enchanted all at the same time.

Wedding Date: Dermot Mulrouney as a lit major? Squee! Oh, and Debra Messing is wonderful as an unmarried neurotic New Yorker living with a gay man. No, wait...I think that's a different show...

Okay, I'm sure I've watched other movies in the last month, but these ones sprung to mind. I've also picked up a few hours of TV viewing - Stargate: Atlantis has recently caught my attention, as I've long been a big David Hewlett fan (anyone remember Pin?). I also caught part of an episode of a realty show called Kept, wherein Jerry Hall auditions herself a new boy-toy. I had to abandon the show after realizing that her future pets were out partying and two were foolish enough to bring home dates. Sheesh! How stoopid can you be??

Other stuff
Not much other stuff going on. Another birthday came and passed, inching me ever closer to the grave. I've been hermitting pretty steadily, so I don't have a lot of news on the social scene to report. ShammaLamma's working at what sounds to be an evil job; Kelster's new co-worker quit just before becoming useful and she was able to parlay that into a raise (she's in San Diego this week). ShammaLamma will also abe temporarily bunny sitting for Mickelous on his next vacay, and I think she's looking for a break away from the family fun (and the painting she's done for Kelster). Max the Wonder Dog is still feeling under the weather, although adjusting to city life much more effectively than we'd hoped (his barking days are apparently behind him). T the evil cat is... taking up space.

I'm recently hooked on the wonders of online music provider Pandora. If you haven't already - check it out. Where else can you find the music of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra played cheek-by-jowl with Sinatra, The Tragically Hip, Pink and Air Supply? Okay, that's just my station, but still - great way to enjoy custom music, while still hearing from bands you'll never hear on the radio.

Parting Thoughts
Seen on a t-shirt: Flirt harder - I'm a physicist!

Nothing matters but the weekend, from a Tuesday point of view

2006-05-09T15:32:00.000-06:00

Okay, so it's been a month, but a busy one, so I'm not even going to apologize. So there!

The countdown is rapidly ticking down to the farm move-date. The movers appear on May 20th, and we've only a fraction of anything packed, so the next 10 days or so are going to be nuts. Then begins the house-hunting, which is sure to be painful, as the housing market is insane around here: everything is going for well over its asking price, no matter how inflated that price is. Sigh. It stands to reason that the minute I decide to enter the market, the market starts moving at the speed of a hummingbird on crack.

Old friends continue to reappear. Last weekish, I was sitting in a small restaurant, waiting for Basia to arrive, only to come face-to-face with the Gavster. Hadn't seen him in far too long. Turns out, we share a mutual employer, but he'd not whispered a word of it (bastard!). He didn't have any pics of new daughter, but I hope we'll be able to connect one of these days and get caught up on all the news.

Then, this week, I heard from Pearl, who was writing with news of parties and book launches -- a few of my favourite things. Haven't seen her since Robert's last launch, which was ... a long time ago, now that I think of it. I can't wait to read her new book and catch up on her life.

Some links you should check out:

Understatement Weekly
Brokeback Mountain (as performed by bunnies)--as Mickelous pointed out, the whole context would be destroyed if they'd used, say, beavers for this...
Forbes magazine's Fictional 15 (see how Mr. Burns stacks up to Scrooge McDuck and Lara Croft)
and finally, the long-promised Very Secret Diaries (featuring saucy accounts of the lives of various Lord of the Rings characters)

Lost in their overcoats, waiting for the sunset...

2006-04-01T17:57:00.000-07:00

Those who know me know how much time I spend looking back at the past. Springstein might have been singing about me when he talked about boring stories of glory days - that kind of thing is right up my alley.

In recent days, events have conspired to force me to look back. First, a mere 2 days after dreaming about a friend's long-since-adopted son, he contacts her and arranges a meeting this summer. That of course required me to relive those days of high school and college, remembering bad poetry written to commemorate the choices Jen was making. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the tupperware container of papers at my feet contains a few of those limp verses.

Then there's the sudden re-emergence of people from the past. Out of the blue, I got a brief email from Lawrence DR. I haven't seen him since my most recent grad, almost 6 years ago. I hope he writes again - I'd look forward to hearing about his plans for world domination. I also heard from Apple Pie Dave, who has temporarily paused his entrepreneurial ventures in favour of more steady and lucrative employment. I was sad to hear it (not that I want the boy to live poor his whole life), but I remember the energy and passion he brought to our last discussion of Redwood, and I hope that he doesn't find himself forever stuck on the road more travelled. It would be a criminal waste of his potential. I also heard about the devastating car crash of the father of a high school friend of mine. Her step-mother was killed, her father horribly wounded - and I've been out of touch with her so long that I feel awkward about wandering back into her life now and offering condolences that could seem ludicrous and self-serving. Then, I got an email from Keith, an old teaching colleague of mine who wants to touch base, and a call out of the blue from Jude, to whom I've never been as good a friend as she deserved.

All of this is piled on top of the soon-to-be-completed sale of the farm, which snuck up on me at alarming speeds. Its sale will permanently close a chapter in my life that I'd never intended to open. I never anticipated owning the family farm. After dad died, we didn't want to sell immediately, fearing the flood of bargain-basement offers we'd've received. Instead, we sort of limped along, managing, scraping by, robbing Peter to pay Paul, insert your cliche here. Somewhere along the way, the damned place sunk into my bones and I'm wondering how painful it will be to extricate it. Selling will be a big wrench for a number of reasons. Not only does it break the chain of family history (I'm third generation on that patch of land; the previous generation homestead only a few miles away), but it breaks my connection to the tiny community I was born into. Once, I thought it would always be home. Then, my grandparents died, dad died, my uncle moved away, and suddenly, we've no family in the community. Selling and moving away minimizes the opportunities and reasons to return to the community.

Other people do this all the time. Their families sell and move and relocate and re-entrench, and it's no big deal. I don't know what this will mean to me (yes, it's all about me--didn't you get the memo? ;). Once all is said and done, I seriously doubt I'll ever return to Etzikom, which is both weird and reassuring all at the same time. I'll sever a link to the people I've known forever, the people with whom I have that small-town shorthand that lets me know who to be friendly toward, and whom to avoid. In a way, I suppose that gives me wings. But what good are wings if you have nowhere to land?

At the same time, looking backwards is a good way to stop moving forward, especially since you can't see where you're going. Rather than feel sorry for myself, I'm reminded of all of the positive changes this new development will have. I'm planning to buy a house (hopefully, one I'll stay in for more than 2 years at a stretch--a personal best in the last decade), and I'll have money to do more things such as travel, and more free time and that can only be good, right? Right?

This week on AR: Don't be ugly, dangit!

2006-03-30T13:50:00.000-07:00

You have to love a leg of the race that really captures the essence of a place. After all, when in Italy....um, sort clothes? Heft a bell? Assemble a sculpture? Have these people never heard of wine-related tasks? Sheesh. Anyway, here I am: a day late, but brimming with snarky goodness all the same...

Team Hippy: Okay, so they didn't conceive of the idea to book tickets online, and yet the strategy paid off beautifully for them. Really, they had no competition at all on this leg of the race. They did, however, wear the Bowling Moms t-shirts, which was so precious I wanted to puke, but you have to love these guys for their exuberance. Apparently. Even Phil is unable to maintain his basilisk stare in the face of their overwhelming goofiness.

Chuckleheads: We didn't really get a chance to bask in this team's piggishness this leg, for which we all give thanks. They wheelchaired their way into second place with such minimal enthusiasm that even Phil had to comment. Of course, perhaps that was because he'd heard them mock his turtleneck at the clothesline. But really, what is the deal with Phil's clothes? Can't the Travelocity people pony up a little cash to buy him a nice outfit just once? Guess he's just happy he doesn't have to gnome-up.

Ho-Jo: You had to appreciate this team's editing. Juxtaposing comments about how Ho is not a ditzy, dumb blonde in with her consistently mispronouncing Palermo (or Palamino, as Jo preferred) was pure genius. More importantly, she has a tantrum next week! Whoo-hoo! Bring it!

Team Geezer: Once again, they can't find a clue box with both hands and a flashlight. Still, they were clever enough to block Lake-n-puddle from getting the low-down on the faster flights, and they scored an AARP victory by refusing to divulge the location of the roadblock to Dr. Clueless.

Lake and puddle: I couldn't understand why this couple didn't choose to heft the bell - quick, direct, and difficult to screw up. Not like going to the pitstop before the roadblock, thus running up and down the mountainside twice. Dang it! Fortunately, he'd taken anatomy classes (to be a dentist? really?) so was able to assemble the sculpture rapidly. Oh, and Puddle managed to work in her usual wimpishness by completely surrendering all decision making to Lake. Based on her hairstyle throughout much of the race, that was probably a good thing.

Team Nerd: These guys are just SO cute. They almost lost their tempers (apparently, although they didn't seem close to fighting in the version presented on TV), thus causing her to cry in frustration and him to... sweat profusely. His tears on the mat reinforced the fact that he is the nicest man on the planet, and Phil's tiny heart grew three sizes that day as he encouraged the nerds to make physical contact. Awwww!

Yo, Ray: Ray was looking fine as he toted the bell around (Yo wasn't the only one checking out his ass...admit it!). They spent much of the leg driving around in a fog, unable to find the correct directions, and nearly lost it all at the roadblock. However, Ray was able to get his game face on by taunting the Pinks while completing the task. I'm coming like Christmas! Oh, Ray. It sounds so dirty when you say it!

Pinks: Once again, a team thwarted by an inability to drive stick. Here's a thought: get someone to show you how to drive before you go on the show! Odds are good you'll be somewhere where standard is, um, the standard. They also seemed shocked by L-n-P's decision to yield them. They confused "target the weakest link" with "they're threatened by us" and vowed to kick it up a notch. Bam! Yer outta here!

Previously, on Amazing Race: sprachen de spanglish?

2006-03-27T15:06:00.000-07:00

Another decent episode, for all kinds of reasons. There were a few moments where I laughed out loud, and a few where I had to shake my head. Hey - didn't there used to be a rule about how many road blocks each participant was allowed to do? I couldn't figure out why so many of the men were tackling the ever-challenging 'gnome-lifting' event, but that's just me. Oh, the lederhosen, how I love thee! And talk about stepping up in the world, from Brazilian volks to fine German automotives. Hmm... feels like I should make a subtle Nazi reference here. Well, consider it made.

Without further ado, on with the snark!

Chuckleheads: Now, "not thinking" has been their strategy thus far, and it's been working for them. Then, they chose the time-consuming bottle breaking thing instead of learning to dance (they're white men--maybe they can't dance??), and blew a lead of at least 3 hours. Fortunately, most of their competitors made the same mistake and it didn't end up costing them too severely. That left only the awkwardly uncomfortable moment on the map where Phil refered to them as casanovas (because 'creepy horndogs' was inappropriate for TV), and they felt complimented and compelled to share their plan to tongue wrestle the pinks. Ick.

Team Hippy: These guys are trying just a little toooooo hard to be wacky (I was in fact reminded of guys who try a little toooo hard to prove their heterosexuality, but that's just me.). In any case, I think the viewing audience all let out a collective "eeeeeeeew" on being informed that blondie was sans underwear. I actually stopped to ponder that: was it just that day that he'd gone commando, or was it, like, part of his wacky hippy ethos? *shudder* Anyway, further on the wacky: running backwards to the mat, the hippie hoe-down at the field o' gnomes, offering a finsky to Phil, who looked puzzled and bemused (oh, wait, that's just his face). Oh, but snaps to these guys for sprachen ze lingo once again.

Lake and puddle: Now, they're my team, and I'm happy they are still in the race, but honestly, that man is jigging on my last nerve. I had to snort at the look on his face in the car. After giving puddle a stern warning to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative (sorry if that song is now playing on a constant loop in your brain), she fired back a stream of "yeah baby, go baby, you're the greatest baby" that put a funny look on his face. Flashing back to the ol' wedding night, Lake? Oh, and even funnier: his use of the word "dadgumit". Tee hee!

Team Geezer: I questioned their sanity when they decided to learn to dance instead of breaking bottles. Granted, they were coming off of the nightmarish doll opening task, so you can forgive them for being a little gunshy. I figured they'd never finish once I caught a glimpse of Fran's dance "technique". Fortunately, the German dance instructor was willing to let 'vaguely correct' be his standard for acceptable dancing, thus saving these two. I smiled kinda sadly when Barry indicated that they had hit their stride, what with all the driving and map reading they were doing. Yeah, because that's where this race is won or lost, isn't it?

Team Nerd: The Nerds lost their race virginity on this leg: they told their first strategic lie. I was conflicted about this. On the one hand: go nerds! We almost lost you after the trolley cleaning fiasco. On the other: isn't it akin to Luke accepting a prosthetic hand, thus taking his first steps to Vaderville? But, I'd rather have defiled, stealthy nerds than no nerds at all. Oooh, and seeing the two of them dance made me giggle, because nerds are not known for their gross motor skills.

Ho-Jo: Okay, she still irks me, but he was laying on the cute fairly heavily this time around. Did you see the grin on his face as they rounded the wall of doom? I was all 'Joseph had a facial expression! Joseph had a facial expression!'. Fortunately, no one was there to witness that. It wasn't pretty. He, however, kinda was. And even though I find her fluffy and annoying, she at least had a good attitude toward sleeping on the floor at the airport, so I guess she can stay for another week.

Yo, Ray: Once again, this team was kinda quiet and just plugged along and got the job done. I think their editing is improving. They no longer look like two strangers forced to spend time together. Now, they feel comfortable commenting on the size of his butt. Well, she does, anyway. He looked more than a little uncomfortable high stepping with the boys in the shorts, but kept it together. And they seem to have a better sense of direction than some of their competitors. I hope they stay in the game long enough for me to have something witty to say about them.

Pinks: This was not their leg. First there was that fiasco with the daypack, then the impossibly high standards at the trolley cleaning station, then they couldn't get on the flight they wanted, and then they had to follow the chickitas...wait. No they didn't. What - they can't read a map? They would rather follow blindly than take a stand? I really expected more of this team: they've were on autopilot for much of this episode. They didn't even vamp it up in the lederhosen, and if you can't have fun in German drag, what is the world coming to?

Chickitas: Why do you speak with an accent? Why do you say everything in Spanglish? Argh...what kind of argumentative questions are these? Jr. was not particularly pleasant to mamacita this time around, for all the crying at the end. These two seemed like such a strong team, until confronted with the mysteries of the autobahn. Sure, they drove around in circles, but at least they were making the effort, unlike the pinks who were content to passively follow these two into last place. Then the crying at the gnome toss. Hey--you think that's tough? You wouldn't have made it a few seasons ago at the bale unrolling thingie. Sorry, Liz...yer outta here!

Man... this thing takes forever to put together. Can't wait until we've pruned a bit more of the deadwood...

There'll be a golden ladder reaching down...

2006-03-15T10:32:00.000-07:00

A couple of updates today (surprise, surprise). If you aren't a reality television fan, you can skip over the postings that follow this one.

So... lots of news that hasn't as yet made it to the blog. First is that we're attempting to sell the family farm, which has naturally screwed up my brain for a few months now. The deadline is this Friday (we're selling by tender), so we'll see shortly thereafter if there are any bids worth taking. I'm not sure which outcome I'm most hoping for... This Friday is a day fraught with family significance which I won't get into here. I'm hoping that benevolent spirits are looking over our shoulders and protecting our interests.

What else is going on? Well, if we sell, I'll be buying a house. Yes, the long-awaited, much sought-after final move. Um, we can only hope. I've moved about 26 times so far as an adult, and I'm intrigued at the thought of throwing away all boxes after a move, rather than holding on to them for the future, and at the notion of completely unpack all possessions. I've not started house hunting in earnest, but given the hot market we've got going on in Calgary, I'm sure I'll be paying through the nose no matter what I get. The radio said that prices are up 26% over last year, so my timing is proving to be as excellent as usual.

Hmmm.... thought there was more news than that. It seems like so much more in my head. What else, what else? Oh, went with Mick to pottery class last night, and it was so much fun. I decided not to actually create anything (although Mick made sure I got muddy), but it reminded me of all the fun I'm missing. I want to take a class with Basia and Carrie, but the logistics have so far not been working. I'm definitely going to try to schedule something in the near future, however. It was a hoot to see Michelle again, because she is possibly one of the most naturally entertaining people I know. She kind of reminds me of Jessica from Rochester - outrageous but good natured with it. Those two would definitely get along.

In the future, watch for some of my snark-laden comments regarding this season's Survivor. I'm in the pool, and feel the obligation to provide entertainment value. Speaking of snark, check out Ryan's latest article, for which I provided some insightful commentary. Er... something.

Finally, a shout out to Christmas, who complains that he never gets mentioned here. He is the father of the lead singer of my favourite under-16 band: The Random. Who loves ya, baby!

I lied - this is the final thought: you know you're spending too much time at work when.... you get to your front door and pull out your office key card instead of your door key... Or, maybe this is the final thought. License plate seen over the weekend: IH8U2. Priceless!

Amazing Race this week: it just keeps getting better and better

2006-03-15T10:29:00.000-07:00

I hope I'm not spoiling anything for those of you who haven't watched last night's episode yet (*coughChriscough*), but last night was the traditional "to-be-continued" episode, wherein we race feverishly to find Phil only to have no one Philiminated from the race. And I have to say that I thought last night's leg (or half-leg, as the case may be) was one of the best we've seen in quite a while. Lots of drama (Will Wanda drown? Will the Pinks lose their passports? Will the Geezers be eliminated?), and lots of good field-leveling (Moscow drivers don't know their own city! Pick a bus - any bus - because you're all on the same flight!). Plus, of course, the whole it-ain't-over-yet twist.

Where to start with the comments? Get a cup of coffee and a muffin; this is going to take a while.

Team Hippy: Our favourite hippy-dippies got off to a solid start, and seemed to make the most of their bunching time by dangling off of cars and scaring their competitors with their radically matching shirts. Team Hippy gets my thumb's-up award for cultural sensitivity in Moscow: not only did they recognize that the Monastery was not a place to act like fools (like most of their competitors later did), but they actually paused prior to opening the envelope to just look around and appreciate the beauty of the place. They were also down with the whole spasibo everywhere they went, thus making excellent use of their language skills (unlike the Chickitas and their el trunk faux pas!). It was a bit unsettling to see them fall so far off the pace when their driver couldn't find the trolley park, but they compensated well at the doll thing and interacted with the locals like the loveable goofs they are. Not unlike Cate, come to think of it.

Team Nerd: A bit of a lack-lustre performance from the nerds. I like that she was the one to do the diving challenge, and didn't make a federal case out of it as so many did. I question their decision to team up with Ho-Jo, who had no real advantage to offer them, other than a keen insight into the Russian national character: they smoke and drink a lot. Sheesh! Here's hoping they get back on track and rack up a bit more positive editing, and we can go back to loving Jessica's team as though it was our own.

Lake and puddle: You know it's going to be a long race when your team starts off by taking the wrong turn. The ONLY team to get lost in Brazil, and the only team to feel that standing on their car is the way to navigate unfamiliar terrain. Lake is really underwhelming me on a lot of levels. He didn't want to go to Russia (apparently, he's opposed to cold places?), and he's less than pleasant to Victoria. Er... whatever her name is. The longer Lake is in the game, the more he reminds me of another evil team... Oh, and she's also got the whole 'maybe I'm I victim, or maybe I'm just as much of an ass as he is' vibe going on. On his suggestion that she perform the task, her first thought is: 'what if I have to get naked' (yeah, because we see a lot of nudity on this show), followed by 'you wouldn't want to wear a bikini in front of the Russians, would you?' Sheesh...get over yourself!

Yo, Ray: I have to admit, I'm starting to be a little impressed by Ryan's team. Perhaps they just needed a little time to click, or perhaps everyone was so underwhelmingly portrayed here that they really had a chance to shine. In any case, snaps to Yo for taking a dive when she barely dog-paddles. I'm sure she didn't make any friends with the guys who had to wait until she gathered her testicular fortitude to make the plunge, but still, it was a real feel-good moment. And when she snapped back at Lake when he complained about how much of a pain it was to follow her to the cruddy detour, I had to cheer. Quietly, because I was busily appreciating all the culture that was messin' with Ray's head.

Pinks: Did anyone else get creeped out at the mere thought of the Pinks getting up close and personal with the Chuckleheads? *shudder* These are 4 people who should not be, like, procreating together, you dig? I missed last week's groping, but was thoroughly disturbed to see it spill over to this week's leg. Whatever happened to not using their bodies to get ahead? Oh, wait. They forgot to decide to use their *brains* to get ahead, by blowing a decent lead to return to grab the bag that contained the missing passports and cash. Maybe I'm being cynical and culturally insensitive here, but was I the only one surprised that that stuff was still laying on the bench in the change room? Wouldn't you suspect that a goodie bag like that would've disappeared in a heartbeat? Or do we think that a producer was tasked to sit around and watch it until the Pinks returned? Leah hangs in there...barely!

Chuckleheads: The longer these guys are on, the more they annoy me. Not really sure why, they just do. They've done fairly well by not, uh, over-thinking anything, so perhaps they'll be around for awhile. Beyond that, I got nothing to add for these dudes. Except that they're Mick's team. Go Mick!

Team Geezer: First of all, what is the deal with Barry's shoulder hair? The man's a freakin' missing link! It was encouraging to see the geezers move from dead last (last to leave the mat, last to complete the first task, last bus) to running second at one point. Of course, they hadn't as yet negotiated the nesting dolls, which slowed them up a bit, but still! Almost a whole episode where they didn't gripe about how they were in last place! It was like a freakin' miracle! Of course, then we had to endure Barry's flailing legs as he attempted to dive - what exactly was that, anyway? Overall, a good showing by the geritol squad, and Chris hangs in for another week.

Chickitas: When Chickita Jr. hinted that Mamacita was a bit dramatic, she wasn't freakin' kidding! Now, I totally get that whole fear of water thing - lots of people are terrified of water, and I don't mock that (fear of something that could kill you is a good survival instinct, right?), but when faced with a challenge that clearly involves water, is it the smartest thing in the world to, like, VOLUNTEER to do it, and then have a conniption fit when actually faced with the task? I wonder why no one suggested she hop out of the pool and jump in from the side, where her momentum might have taken her to the required depth. Or that she try to grab the clue with her feet, so she wouldn't have to get her face in the water. Or, you know, SOMETHING more useful than the folks standing around clapping (although, God love 'em, it had to have been endlessly entertaining to watch). Still, she finally accomplished it, and they made credible headway on the trolley scrubbing thing before the episode ended (or DID it...?). Liz's team survives to emote another day.

Ho-Jo: She irks me. Not to the degree of some previous blank-gazed blondes on this show, but she's up there. HoJo (or Heather's team, for those playing along at home) did not really stand out for me in this episode, other than as an a bit of deadweight keeping Team Nerd from soaring. Still, I'm sure we'll see something interesting from them in future installments. Or, you know, not.

No eliminations this time around, so nothing changes from last week. We need to get rid of a few teams so that this doesn't take me so long to put together...

A promise to my sister: Amazing Race - bye-bye-bye

2006-03-15T10:26:00.000-07:00

It's truly uncanny how Leah always seems to end up picking the losers. Truly. This time, she didn't even lay a hand on the draw slips and *still* managed to select the losing team. That's some kind of spooky voodoo, right there. Nothing personal, Leah, but if we ever end up on airplane together, heading from Australia to the US, well, you need to sit in the tail - far, far away from me. I'll just sit next to the cute doctor and the scruffy bad boy. Er... perhaps I digress a bit.

Anyway - it was a great opener to what appears to be a much better season than the last (could it have been worse?). The teams are easy enough to label and some of them kindly named themselves so we wouldn't get them confused with any of the other, better looking teams (burn!). Because I'm a geek with a bad memory, I made note of some of the moments and dialogue that made me laugh out loud. This short recap turned into an epic, but it's not like you slackers were working, anyway, right? Right? Wait, just me? Oops...

Glamazons/Frosties/Cougars: not only did they Indian leg-wrestle in their promo, they bedazzled! And used the phrase "unsheath our womanhood" which kind of creeped me out, although made me think, too, in an anthropological/biological way, just what they hell they were talking about unsheathing. I'm not even going to talk about the whole 'I'm peeing in my pants' which came, interestingly (?) enough on the heels of 'my panties are falling down', which followed 'did you fart?' 'I think it's the city!'. Sigh. I was kinda-sorta hoping that these two wouldn't make it past leg one (sorry Leanne!) because their screaming was starting to drill a hole in my brain.

Hippies: put on your pants, it's time to dance! Okay - I love these guys. I was prepared not to like them, mostly because the short guy reminds me of Harry Shearer in Spinal Tap drag. However, they've got this whole joie de vive thing going on, so it's hard not to embrace them. They even thought the two chuckleheads (Eric/Jeremy) were good guys, even as said chuckleheads were dissing them at every opportunity. Dude - where's my frilly shirt?! Cate may very well be the big weeener this season.

Nerds: I LOVE this team! You have to respect anyone who embraces their inner nerd on (inter)national television. They remind me of half the people I worked with at IBM - nerdish and funny. And they have their own handshake! Too funny! And they say stuff like 'oh, mylanta!' when distressed. And giggle. And hold hands. And they've had the best editing so far - no major melt-downs and kissy-facing whenever they get a chance. I think that the other teams are going to want to help them as the series continues, and so Jessica has a real shot at making big bucks.

Lake and puddle: my team. Sigh. The man thinks he's intense, but he's really just annoying. They can't read, first of all, and how many times have we seen that reading EVERYTHING is a big help in this show. The chuckleheads kinda clarified why I was so creeped out by Lake when they described him as Scott Peterson (I really don't want to like the chuckleheads, but sometimes they are on the money). I don't think they'll win, but I'm willing to bet they'll make top-5.

Yo, Ray: I laughed out loud at the introduction between Ray and Lake: 'I'm Lake, like the ocean.' 'Oh...I'm Ray...like the sun.' Too funny! I was waiting for Ray's head to 'splode during the whole bike-building thing (that was a challenge from hell, right there) as all the local dudes made goo-goo eyes and construction-site noises at Yo (that's what I'll be calling her now). But he held it together and crossed the mat with his dignity. I don't see that lasting: they've dated 5 years and have never spent any significant time together? And they thought that a race around the world would be a good trial run? Oh, mylanta! Sorry, Ryan, you haven't got a ray of hope...like the sun.

Double Ds/Pinks: They just make it too easy to mock. I LOVED that they attempted the bike-building thing with the sole strategy of: we'll kiss some locals and make them do all the dirty work. Still, it was a strategy that has worked in other places. Although I will belittle them for the duration of their time on this show (please, God, not long!), I had to give them credit for a few things. First, they worked their main strength: cleavage. And the loud pink colour means they can easily locate each other in a crowd. Oh, and at least one spoke another language, which certainly can't hurt. Still, I have to say that Leah probably won't make it toooo far with this team, either. Sorry about that.

Chuckleheads: We want to be rich, but we don't want to work at it. Truer words. They are a bit mean-spirited, but funny with it, so I like them, but feel guilty about it. It's all good. Love how they hit on the Double-Ds right away (and loved how the girls were all, like, 'as if!'). Their strategy of not (over)thinking anything seemed to pay off this time, and they won money, so that's good. It was interesting to compare their activities on the race to the hippies', who embraced everything with references to James Bond and teeth scratching. Yeah, I didn't get that, either. Mick probably won't be collecting the cash this season. But at least he can play 'count the piercings', so ... silver linings, right?

Oh, Meredith: Sure, they aren't as annoying as that team, but nearly as clueless. If you're looking for a clue box, and can't find it, even when you've been told it's there by lots of people, including the teams that are now burning past you, here's a hint: watch the cameraman! S/he spotted it right away and zoomed in helpfully so we could see where it was, and stopped and swung the camera so we could see how they'd walked past it, and... you get the idea. I loved how they tried to build a bike without knowing helpful little things, like what an engine is. I'm not saying that's a key component to assembling a bike, but it could be helpful. I'm just sayin'. Their joy at not being booted was clear, but I have to suggest Chris brace himself for the inevitable. If thinking is their secret weapon, well, you fill in the joke here.

Chickitas: What can you say about W/D. They're excitable, and their ability to sprachen der lingo saved their bacon on this leg. Chickita Jr. recognizes her role on the team: keep the Mamacita from esplodin'. Their strategy to pick the furthest destination in the rotorhead challenge made little to no sense, but the ineptitude of their competitors meant that it didn't cost them much. I don't have a solid feel for how this team will do just yet, but I don't hate them, so that's something. Plus, their editing was fairly good, so we either have a major mother-daughter blow-up coming (almost inevitable, don't you think?) or they'll fade away. I guess what I'm saying is that Liz shouldn't make any big plans for the pool money, which I'm sure she means to pay at some point. Really.

Ho-Jo: Don't like 'em. Jo and I were in total agreement when we stared at Ho at the airport. "Seriously," we both asked, "are you going to cry about not getting on the first flight?" She doesn't strike me as a terribly nice person, which, granted, is not a requirement for the race (hello Jonathan and Victoria!), but if you're going to give yourself a cutesy nickname and emblazon it across your chest, and then turn around and bash the hippies for not doing so drugs today, which somehow explains how they managed to get to their car before you did, well, I can call you a beyotch. Really. It's in my contract. Look it up.

Team Gay: I'm kinda sad to see these guys go right off the bat. They gave us some great moments. The genie thing was pure genious (genie...genious...get it?), although it apparently wasn't enough to change the course of history. I blame the sound effects for that. Anyway, they also made me giggle at how they packed - could they have hauled around any more crap? Only the cougars were packing more than they were, and that's something. They introduced us to the fear closet, and gave the producers an excuse to zoom in on their hand-holding at the pit stop. And when they were lost, they still strode confidently ... in some direction. Unfortunately, it was in the direction of the sunset. Adios, boys! Once Leah had picked your name, you didn't stand a chance...

One last time for the money...

2006-02-27T19:19:00.000-07:00

Today... a couple of noteworthy 'so I was in my truck and...' moments.

The first was a great twist on the old panhandler pain. Now, normally, when a street-type person approaches me for cash, I very often clean out my pockets or at least apologize sincerely for having no cash on me. This guy, who can't be far away from seeing a pension cheque if he's not already there, didn't ask for cash. Instead, he asked for visa, mastercard, american express (not diner's card, though...man, does anybody want that one?), certified cheque, money order, stocks, bonds, but not stocks in Enron (or a few others, including Martha Stewart). It was such a change - so witty and intelligent that I wished I'd had more to offer. I cleaned my spare change ash tray out to load him up - at least enough for coffee. He thanked me politely and pointed out that it's harder to get folks to donate when the temperature goes up, as everyone assumes that a few degrees above freezing makes life easier on the street. All I knew was that creativity like his needed to be rewarded - he didn't attempt to sell me a parking pass or ask me for mine and he didn't use a hackneyed request for change for a coffee/bus pass/whatever.

I was still tickled by the encounter when I headed to Mr. Lube for a long overdue ... lube job? Tee hee... that sounds dirty when I say it. Anyway, I was getting an oil change and struck up a conversation with the grease monkey. Get this: he's from Medicine Hat (okay, that's not the cool part), plays in a band, and his name is Kalan. What are the odds? After the girl in the next car stalked him around my SUV trying to take his picture, I asked him about the odds. Pretty good, he said - he knows at least 4 Kalans, including Mr. Canadian Idol himself, Kalan Porter, with whom he claims to have played (although greasy Kalan plays in a punk band whose name he told me twice and I still forget - Screaming Innocence? - and knows Big Ugly Jim of Johnny Incognito fame. For those who aren't immediately connecting the dots: Jim is a coworker and all around mensch). Anyway, it was one of those surreal moments: is he the real Kalan Porter, and if so, why is he working at Mr. Lube? He took my questioning in good humour and we commiserated over the abysmal skills of big-city drivers.

All-in-all, a good way to end a long day.

And I ain't even done with the night...

2006-01-05T22:22:00.000-07:00

[insert usual mea culpa crap here]

So, back from time at the farm. Always good. Reasonably relaxing, moderately busy, little brain activity--all the things I look for in time off.

Did I mention we've got a semi-permanent house guest? In addition to our 2 llamas (Jeremiah and Snoopy), a neighbour's llama has wandered by and made herself at home. We're calling her Dolly (Llama). Yes, yes. I know. Going straight to hell. What else is new?

Shan's fugly cat was actually mildly amusing whilst I was there. Especially after I discovered that a suction-cup toy attached to my forehead was fun for the whole family. Yes, yes. I know. Should be on medication. What else is new?

In other news, I had yet another truly weird dream. This time, I dreamt that I was helping Dog (the Bounty Hunter) and his wife Beth get elected to city council. Stay with me. To do that, I helped them organize a bake sale. In a parking garage. With all dozen or so of Dog's kids (puppies?) in attendance. The usual mayhem ensued, and resulted in a take-down next to the University of Lethbridge. It wasn't pretty (what with all of that concrete). And I clearly need to be upping my meds.

I'm a bastard, it's true (sucks to be you...)

2005-11-23T21:29:00.000-07:00

I caught the new Madonna video the other night. Sigh... When did Madonna get so creepy looking? Remember when everyone was copying her by wearing the zillion chains and lace gloves and doing the whole Boy-Toy thing? Or, even a few years later, when she was offending people by kissing the black Jesus and we thought that was cool? Or her sophisticated Evita phase, or her raunchy Dick Tracy hanky-panky (nothing like a good spany) era? Or even a few years ago when she was all "edgy", going to see female strippers and hanging with Ali G? Yeah, what happened to that? Now, she's dancing in a leotard and I felt icky when I caught a flash of ass-cheek hanging out. As I watched her work her mojo and the camera follow her sashaying ass, I kept thinking: Dude, that's someone's mom. And it was all kinds of wrong for all kinds of reasons. And I realized that somewhere along the way, people stopped wanting to be Madonna. Now, they don't even want to watch Madonna.

Personally, I blame Guy Ritchie.

Even though I kinda like the song, I don't think I'll be able to listen to it very often without the leotard image ruining it for me. Madonna, it's time to face the same sad facts as Elton John and Rod Stewart before you: at some point, hire young, pretty people to act out the love story and stop scaring your fans!

What else is going on? Oh, watched an "adult" film the other night. And part of me knows that these films aren't intended to be of the highest quality, but as I was watching, I realized that they were re-running footage--while the scene was still in progress! So, it was like: head-bob, head-bob, glance over shoulder, close eyes... identical head-bob, head-bob, glance over shoulder, close eyes. Come on! When did this become acceptable filmmaking?

That was not, however, the weirdest revelation about the film. I'm watching as the camera pans to an extreme close-up of an ass in motion. Because of the camera angle (not to mention the proximity to the action), I'm suddenly reminded of a change purse I had as a child: sort of a dark pinkish-red pebbly-textured leatherette deal. And I realized again that these films are not being made for women, because how many men are critiquing film technique and reminiscing about accessories while watching?

Perhaps I'll just chalk it up to reason #572 why I'm going to hell. Oh, and Kelly? Still in Paris. Still hate Kelly (that's reason #573 right there...)

Relax, said the night man...

2005-11-21T19:13:00.000-07:00

Today, I moved a web site into production, assisted a few clients in answering questions, and worked on policies. Today, Kelly woke up in Paris, had a chocolate-filled croissant, spent a few hours at the convention centre, scheduled her visit to the Eiffel Tower, and started making plans for spending time in London at the end of the week.

Still hate Kelly.

In other news, I'm starting to think about maybe having a post-Christmas party. There's no time no before Christmas, and I'm overdue (since we didn't have a Christmas party last year). Maybe I'll call it a Festivus party...

The sun'll come out...tomorrow...

2005-11-20T22:22:00.000-07:00

Just returned from the farm. En route, I saw the most amazing sunset. The entire western sky was filled with clouds, catching the light and turning shades of brilliant orange and red. As the minutes ticked by, the colours became more muted, finally ending as shades of mauve, faded red-black, and an almost, barely-there olive. All this happened, fortuitously, in the 20 minutes or so that I headed due west of Lethbridge, so I had the whole show conveniently playing out across my windshield. Luckily, everyone else on the road was behaving themselves, so I didn't have to keep more than a single eye on the highway.

Speaking of eyes... spent much of the weekend with my eyeballs glued to a computer screen. Not much of a switch for me, but rather than reading for pleasure, I was doing bookwork for the company. Could have been worse, I guess. I'm not 100% sure how, but it could have been. T, the cat who owns mom, didn't decide to lay in the middle of the paperwork, which was a small boon. He is growing fuglier every day, swear to God. He used to be sort of runt-like, with long, whispy ear hair (cuter than it sounds). Now, the ear hair is gone, the long, gorgeous black hair is turning chocolate brown, and he's no longer little and cute. He fugly. Damn, he fugly (reminds me of our nickname for one of Leon's girlfriends!).

Also spent some quality time catching up on movies. Watched The Chronicles of Riddick. I always forget how hot Vin Diesel is (especially in that role, with his low, gravely voice). Also watched To Live and Die in LA, mostly to make mom and Shan watch William Petersen's dangly bits. What can I say? The man is sex on a stick. And in those tight jeans? Honey, don't get me started.

Only a few weeks left before the Christmas party, and I think I've found the ensemble I'll be wearing. Fingers crossed!

Kelly still in Paris. Still hate Kelly...

On the bookshelf

2005-11-17T20:39:00.000-07:00

Forgot to list off the books I'm reading and what's on deck and what's newly scratched off my to-read list.

Reading:
- Running With Scissors (Augusten Burroughs) - apparently, I'm planning to read this man's life backwards, because I've already read and adored and recommended and forced on people his later memoir Dry. Here's a man who lived a life so far removed from my own experience that it's like being an Anthropologist on Mars (another great book...read it years ago and still recommend).
- Fluke and Practical Demonkeeping (Christopher Moore) - because any author worth reading is worth reading in stereo, I always say. I've just started reading Fluke (but got hooked after finding an amazing chapter online at the Today show book site - go there, trust me. I've picked up so many books after sneaking a peek at them there), but it's kinda got me hooked. Demon-keeping was his first novel, and is too weird for a one-line synopsis. Trust me on that one, too.

Just finished:
- Me Talk Pretty One Day (David Sedaris) - odd and the kind of thing that makes you go "Dude...except for the reams of illicit drugs this man consumed, and the bizarre performance art he perpetrated on society, and, well, the oodles of gay sex, I could be this guy..." Well, maybe not, since I didn't have a lisp as a child. However, it's a great read and truly odd and unusual.
- We Thought You Would Be Prettier (Laurie Notaro) - another book that made me wonder why more of the people who write for fun instead of profit are not, instead, writing for profit. It was funny, but I couldn't help feeling like I'd seen a lot of this stuff elsewhere, except better written and more amusing.

On deck:
In addition to the small forest of books I picked up on my recent sojourn to Minnysoooota (including a couple by one of my favourite MN authors Lorna Landvik and one by Neil Gaiman), I've also got a book called Incendiary sitting on my desk at work, waiting to be brought home. And that book, you know the one, by whatshername... Miriam Toews? Yeah. That's her. Plus, I've still got a stack of loaner books that seem to be slowly turning into coal beneath the weight of more recent loaners (not to mention guilt) that have been heaped upon them. I totally need to win a lottery, just so I can quit my job and catch up on my reading. And my tan. And my cabana-boy watching. Not necessarily in that order.

There were hints and allegations...

2005-11-17T20:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, so it's been...forever since the last post. Since then, I've spent far too much time watching TV and then reading fan-fiction based on those shows. I've also decided to continue renting my current apartment which, for those of you playing at home, will make this one of the longer places I've lived in quite a while. Hey--I'm no fool: this place has heated, underground parking. No sense moving and giving that up right before winter. But relax...I'll probably move in the spring, which makes it...move #25? Something like that. I'm too tired tonight to calculate it.

Let's see... found a cute site that lets you compare your height to various and sundry "celebrities". It's worth a chuckle or two. Take a look: Tall or Not.

Watched Survivor tonight...yes, still watching reality TV (although I missed a goodly chunk of it...not that it matters). My two pool picks (Judd and Lydia) are still in the hunt for the million, which means I could win the pool again (remember Chris the construction worker from a few seasons ago? Yeah, I made some money on him). Also watched CSI (big surprise!)--man, that show just keeps getting better. Continues to kick the ass of almost all other shows out there. And the men...oh, how pretty. Could Nick, Greg and Grissom be any sexier? The answer, of course, is yes, but they'd need to be naked. Mmmmmm... I'll take a side of that, please!

Two funny bumper stickers I've seen recently:
"I don't hate God - it's his fan club I can't stand"
"I found Jesus! He was between the couch cushions the whole time!"

Speaking of amusing things you can attach to a vehicle...my sister bought me a cover for the hidden hitch of the Yukon that reads: Faster than a speeding ticket. Smart ass. Did I mention she's going to Paris? I hate my sister...

Vanity! Vanity! All is Vanity!

2005-09-08T12:43:00.000-06:00

In an effort to get slightly more active in this space, I'm going to start cutting back on sending email containing funny thoughts, and post them here, so complete strangers can shake their head at me, instead of just close friends. Here's the first item to that effect:

ever watch a show written by Chuck Lorre and wonder what the heck the little end piece was for - the part with all the words you couldn't read because they filled the whole page and you had exactly 2 seconds to read them? Me too! Ohmygawd! It's like we're the same person!

*ahem* Anyway, I ran across a site where Mr. Lorre has kindly collected all of his little nuggets of wisdom and made them available to those of us who had no intention of videotaping his shows in order to find out what he was trying to tell us: http://www.chucklorre.com/

I found it here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6746832/ (amusing article about vanity cards at the end of shows)

Contrary to all evidence...

2005-07-19T12:26:00.000-06:00

... I am actually busy. However. I found this hilarious little site and had to share with y'all. It's called Meg's boyfriend of the week, and it features various men of Hollywood that she is temporarily "dating" in her head. I had to laugh because her choices are all over the map - yes, she's got hot men on there (Russell Crowe, Colin Firth, Paul Gross, etc.), but she also features some very odd choices for BotW: Joe Lando (just for you, Shan!), Wil Wheaton, Sock Puppet (from the old pets.com site), Colin Mochrie, etc. Definitely something for everyone's taste, and she's funny, too.

Anyway, just check out the site. It's worth a giggle or two!

Indie-Yuppies R Us...

2005-06-13T14:58:00.000-06:00

Ryan, a summer student at work, was recently interviewed in the Toronto Star. He's apparently part of a new generation (no, no connection to Pepsi). He's an indie-yuppie. I'm having a hard time keeping up with all of the new generations that are nipping at my increasingly antique heels. I remember Gen-X and Gen-Y (even sub-groups like neo-pagan and techno-peasant) but Indie-Yuppie is news to me. Anyway, it's a good read and it gave me an excuse (read: kick in the pants) to blog it and share with y'all. Enjoy!

9 days til my next birthday... And in spite of my antiquity, I'm still always happy to see the day arrive. Maybe it's because it's so close to the start of summer, and even though I'm no longer a professional student and work all summer these days, it's still a lovely time of year, and worthy of celebration. And gifts are always nice...

It's not easy being green...

2005-06-10T07:39:00.000-06:00

Okay, after promising to do better, I immediately fall off the wagon. Mea culpa, mea culpa. However, after a highly enjoyable vacation to Radium last week, wherein I read Margaret Atwood's novel Oryx and Crake, I happened upon an article that discusses one of the (very minor) plot points she uses. I won't spoil the surprise for any of you who still have that book on your shelf, but instead, point you toward an interesting little Q&A called The Straight Dope.

What else is going on? My hometown's school reunion is creeping ever closer, and I'm heading down to the old 'hood to finalize plans. I've missed a number of meetings, and my sister has been dilligently volunteering me for a number of things, so I should be getting more details there. It's also Fun Run weekend, and I'm taking some friends with me for that.

Okay, short message, but hopefully not the last this month...

Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'...

2005-05-06T10:38:00.000-06:00

Didn't realize how long it had been since I'd updated my blog until I went to leave a comment on someone else's blog and couldn't remember the link for my own. Oops. I'll try harder in the future.

Not much going on with me. Been reading a lot of fan fiction lately. Mostly CSI, mostly slash. For those out of the loop, slash harkens back to the homoerotic writings of early Star Trek fans, who were fascinated by the possibilities of a Kirk/Spock pairing. The genre takes its name from that all-important "/".

It's weird how your interests circle around, isn't it? I first discovered fanfic in grad school. I was on a great mailing list made up of people who were in love with all things Trek and X-Files and scifi in general. And they were clever and creative and had wonderfully filthy little minds and loved nothing more than writing a good story where Garak and Bashir did the nasty. Or setting DS9 in the world of Shakespeare's The Tempest. Or ... well, you get the drift. They wrote really interesting stories with unusual plots, many of which were screen-worthy (well, except for the more pornier aspects, anyway). Then, I left grad school and my free, unlimited internet access behind, changed gears and lost track of that group and fan fiction in general.

Now, I've discovered a whole new crop of fanfic authors, some of whom are truly wonderful writers. Others are just filthy pervs, but I've been immersing myself in all of their work. It's been cutting into my TV time, which is probably a good thing, all things considered, but it also has meant that I've had less time for mainstream fiction. But I'd been on a bit of a reading hiatus anyway, for some strange reason, so I'm hoping to drink my fill of slash and come back to my shelves of unread books with renewed vigor. I'm not linking in here, but if you're interested, let me know and I'll set you up with some fabulous sites.

What else is going on. Finally got my hair done. I was mocked viciously by my stylist, the incomparable Thomas. I really, really must remember to go back for regular touch-ups.

What else? Clock is ticking down to my first vacation of the year - 1 week in Radium with Basia. We will go and eat and rest and read and as usual, every bear in the vicinity will make an appearance. Seriously. I'm a bear magnet. Others can go to the mountains and see nary a bear, where I will see one almost every day. They will find me when I'm having a sandwich at a roadside turnout. They will be snacking on dandelions as I drive past. They will leave scat where I'm about to amble around a lake. They will have freaked out tourists along my path as I go to see funky mud flats. Weird. And a little cool, let's face it.

Kelly has returned from China, bearing gifts. And will be home for more than a few days in a row for a change. Well...she will be once she gets back from the farm...

Unhappy Anniversary

2005-03-30T14:57:00.000-07:00

Better than my own words could ever express...

---------------------------

Unhappy Anniversary (We told you so.) Borrowed from Think Progress:

The Invasion Two Years Later

200: Lowest estimated number in billions of U.S. taxpayers' dollars that have been spent on the war in Iraq
152,000: Estimated number of troops currently deployed in Iraq
1,511: U.S. troops killed in Iraq since the invasion
11,285: Americans wounded since the invasion was launched two years ago
21,100-39,300: Estimated number of Iraqi civilians killed since the invasion by violence from war and crime
176: Non-U.S. coalition troops killed in Iraq since the invasion
339: Coalition troops killed by Improvised Explosive Devices (IEDs)
70: Daily average number of insurgent attacks on coalition forces in February 2005
14: Daily average number of insurgent attacks on coalition forces in February 2004
18,000: Estimated number of insurgents in Iraq today
5,000: Estimated number of insurgents in Iraq in June 2003
27/14: Countries remaining in the "coalition of the willing" versus number of former coalition members that have withdrawn all their forces or announced their intention to do so
25,000: Non-U.S. coalition troops still in Iraq
4,500: Troops that Italy and the Netherlands have pledged to withdraw before the end of the year
142,472: Iraqi security troops the Pentagon says it has trained and equipped
40,000: Iraqi troops that General Richard Myers, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said are adequately trained and equipped to handle most threats
0: Number of active Army combat units deployed to Iraq that have received the required year-long break from active duty required by Pentagon rules
30: Percent by which the U.S. National Guard missed its recruitment targets in November and `December 2004
27: Percent by which the U.S. Army missed its recruitment goals in the past month
15: Percent of military personnel, according to GAO, who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan, who could develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
2: Estimated output of Iraqi oil industry in millions of barrels per day
2.8: Estimated output of Iraqi oil industry in millions of barrels per day before the U.S. invasion
8: Average number of hours that Iraqis have electricity per day
28-40: Estimated Iraqi unemployment rate
108: Millions of dollars in Halliburton overcharges hidden from international auditors by the Pentagon
9: Billions of dollars the Coalition Provisional Authority cannot account for of all funds dispensed for Iraq reconstruction

Part of the problem with this war is that like Johnson and McNamara, these people cannot be believed about anything and their lying endangers all of us. (And what is the MSM response? “Thank you sir, may I have another.")

I feel a chill up and down my spine...

2005-03-14T13:43:00.000-07:00

Fun with phobias:

Beards - pogonophobia
Fall of satellites - keraunothnetophobia
Blushing - ereuthophobia
Novelty - cainolophobia
The skins of animals - doraphobia
Gravity - barophobia

brought to you by the kind folks at Schott's Original Miscellany.

Strange dreams, indeed....most peculiar, mama...

2005-03-12T10:52:00.000-07:00

So, I had this very weird dream, which isn't unusual, but I actually woke myself up at various points during the night to remind myself of the sequence, and to blog it because my sister would be most amused by it. So, here goes:

It's a multi-part dream, and I know I'm coming in somewhere before it starts, but there was a sequence where Elspeth, my VP, was there, and we (along with a lot of other people) ended up at an impromptu concert put on by Prince. While we were there, the concert was invaded by the Mole People (for the record, they looked kind of like the mutants in Tank Girl...I'm pretty sure I saw Ice-T there). Anyway, it turned out that Prince had the ability to repel the mole people, so a bunch of us took off after them. There was an old guy, and a few young people with me (not that it really matters), and we were driving along this elevated highway, and we discovered that the Mole People had removed entire sections of the highway. Of course, we narrowly avoided disaster by falling into a missing section. Whew!

While investigating to find a way around the hole in the road, we discovered a cave/burrow. Naturally, we followed it and ended up in the land of the Mole People. More hijinks ensued, none of which are terribly clear to me, until the part where I ended up owning two pet rats. Real rats, not ferrets like Ratsy-Tatsy Bernie. So, now I own these two rats and of course everyone is expressing their rat-prejudice, including Jean and Dwight, because now we're down on the farm and they've spotted my rat-babies and are trying to do away with them. I'm naturally indignant, and demonstrate how tame they are--except for occasionally biting people, they are the perfect pet. Then, I break Dwight's ladder and have to pay him for a new one.

Suddenly, Gordie calls me (at some point during the call, he actually materializes...keep that in mind) on the truck phone. He tells me that Gramma is homeless and it's all my fault. Because of my generosity, someone at the Lodge told Gramma that she really shouldn't qualify for any government assistance (or should qualify for more...that part was a little fuzzy), and she should stop paying for her room, and send them a letter demanding a refund. So, they are kicking her out and it's all my fault.

This is the part where he suddenly materializes. I actually woke myself up enumerating all the reasons why he should be able to resolve this matter (joint bank account means he can control withdrawals, speaking to the Lodge, etc.). I was quite indignant and upset that he would blame me for any of this--just because I made a donation to the Handi-Bus Society.

I'm just remembering that there was a whole earlier piece where I had roommates who were annoying me while we went to university (I've been going through this dream phase where I keep writing myself into The Gilmore Girls...most bizarre). One of those roommates could have been with me at the Prince concert.

Anyway, it was truly odd, and as I kept repeating the sequence to myself (Gramma-Rats-Prince), I'd keep re-writing the 'ending'. Maybe I won the lottery, and... Maybe I bought this big house and Gramma and the rats... It was all I could do when I sat down here to separate the various versions into what I think was the true and original one.

Any thoughts on what this all means? Beyond the obvi0us--that I require years of therapy?

Old friends....

2005-03-08T07:38:00.000-07:00

Okay, so it's been awhile since I've blogged...mea culpa.

Watched a PBS 'blokes of Britcom' show last night, and as I was watching it, I kept trying to figure out what about the show was different than the best-of/where-are-they-now types of shows one usually sees. Then it hit me: these people were old! I mean, old the way real people are, not the way Hollywood types are old. Try to imagine Clint Eastwood with wattles and and jowls and specs (not pecs). Every one of these people was wrinkly and a bit tubby and had mile-thick glasses (they all looked sort of like Micky Rooney, come to think of it!). It was a bit disconcerting to realize that I'd forgotten how old people look on the screen - when they look old and real, as opposed to expertly made-up, toned and tanned.

Speaking of old friends...just found out that an old friend from DeVry (Gord) is back in hospital with a terrible prognosis. The cancer is back, and it's only a matter of time. Sigh... Gord's always been a good human, and he'd beaten it back a number of times, but now it's got his number. If you're reading this and want to visit, contact me and I'll pass along his info.

What else is going on? Well, just back from an organizing committee meeting for the Etzikom School Reunion, and saw some old faces and friends. Strange to be working with the people who were your teachers, and parents (or grandparents) of your friends. Makes you feel very old and very young all over again. Both of my sisters are involved in the event (even though the school closed before Kelly could attend), and that gave the old fogies a chance to mix us up, and call us 'the girls'. There was a time when that bothered me, but as the years go by, being called a girl is starting to sound better. Another decade, and I'll be downright chuffed every time I hear it.

I hadn't really intended to expound upon a theme, although it worked out quite nicely. Have a good day, and call an old friend...

Futher evidence that I watch too much TV...

2005-02-16T13:30:00.000-07:00

Not that I needed proof or anything, but I watch too much TV. Whilst home sick for a couple of days, I had the most amazing series of dreams, all featuring my life as a Gilmore Girl. Weird. Of all the shows I watch on a regular basis, I had to go and choose this one to base my dream life on. Other than that, the dreams mostly faded quickly from view during my sickbed stage, with the exception of one episode where someone treated me very poorly in a grocery store, causing me to cry, and another one where I was living in the world's most poorly-designed house--the stairway to the bedrooms was located over the bathroom sink. It was like living in a motorhome, where all the "conveniences" are inconveniently located. I says again: Weird.

What else is going on? Lots of reality television (sadly), and very little reading. It's a lot easier to mindlessly gaze at the TV when ill instead of trying to wrap one's head around literature, so not a lot to report there. I have a large stack of novels loaned to me by very nice people at work that I have to read before I can buy any new books. Most recent additions to that stack are The Corrections, and I am Charlotte...Whatever. Two big monsters, helping me to keep my book buying addiction to a minimum.

Here are a few links to keep you going until next we meet:

Boing Boing: A Directory of Wonderful Things
APOD: 2005 February 8 - A Mysterious Streak Above Hawaii (images from the night sky)
Telegrams Canada - The Canadian Telegram Service

This must be just like living in paradise...

2005-02-08T07:38:00.000-07:00

Another day, another $1.95. Discovered last night that my condo's walls aren't quite as thick as I thought they were, as my upstairs neighbour broke a months-long sexual fast. I have to tell you, it was a virtuoso performance - I wanted to applaud the technique. It certainly had an impact on the dreams of the night, but I don't think I want to commit any of them to e-paper.

Found a whole bunch of lottery tickets that I haven't checked yet. I may already be a winner! Uh huh... I'll keep you posted.

Got to work only to discover that I'd worn my shirt to work inside out. Thank God it's winter and I had an excuse to cover the shame with a parka. Fortunately, I made the discovery before anyone at work (Mick!) noticed.

Had yet another encounter with a merge-virgin this morning, which is unusual. Normally, I don't see these folks during rush hour - they tend to emerge after the morning rush. This doofus had come to a complete stop in the merge lane, blocking traffic, and I nearly had to stop myself in order to let him in. Regular rush-hour drivers know enough to signal, commit, and go and trust that other drivers will merely shake a finger at them. This guy left me shaking my head, and it was entirely too early for that sort of behaviour.

Tonight is the finale for Amazing Race. I'll be watching and contributing my snarky commentary on Wednesday. If it's any good, I'll share it here. Otherwise, I'll only bore my co-workers with it.

Watched Medium again last night. Excellent show. It's really turning into one of my favourite shows of the season--right up there with Lost. Lost is hard to get into if you haven't watched it so far (although they've been helpfully showing lots of reruns lately), but Medium can be enjoyed even if you haven't seen any previous shows.

The princess is home! Max the Wonderdog is feeling much better and was happy to come home from the vet.

I think I'll wrap this up here...

Recent dreams

2005-01-26T16:39:00.000-07:00

I've had a couple of vivid dreams in the last week that I've been meaning to document. The first two occurred while I was out at the farm - I find my dreaming is always more clear and memorable there. Perhaps its because of the utter darkness, or the quiet (wait, the dog barks all night, so it's not that quiet!), or just because I relax more there. In any case, here's the scoop:

The first dream takes place in some kind of bizarre Las Vegas-style setting. Here's the premise: Princess Di didn't die - she's alive and well and married and has another child (a daughter). The dream follows the new family on vacation. She's had to tone down her lavish lifestyle in order to maintain the illusion of being beyond the grave, but Vegas is always safe (she can claim to be a look-alike there). She and her new husband and daughter are riding in a gondola in "Little Venice", and the unofficial secret service are watching her (unofficial, of course, because she's supposed to be dead). There's a lot of swooping around (and I'm suddenly in the same gondola as the family), and then there's fireworks. Later, we are trapped in stone tunnels beneath a school, for no paticular reason.
The second dream features Bob Hope (apparently I had a real thing for dead celebrities last weekend!). He's looking like the Bob Hope of the 70s, as opposed to the guy we saw in his last years - funny, biting. Bob was doing his stand-up schtick, although the details of the rest of the dream were kind of fuzzy. Since I hadn't thought of Bob since his passing, I had to scratch my head over this one.
The last dream features someone I've often dreamed about, mostly when I need a reason to feel bad about myself! I went to school with the minister's daughter and she was often held up as the epitome of perfection (grace, intelligence, musical skill, etc., etc.). I haven't seen her in years but on Sunday I heard both that she's recently had her third child (congrats!), and that her father remarried. That's why I think I dreamed about her. She was, as always, perfect, in that annoying way people are when you're dissatisfied with some aspect of your own life. In this case, she was berating me for my poor financial habits (this dream happened after a recent meeting with a financial advisor).

Hmmm... I lost a lot of detail in the telling. I'll work on that for future editions, and try not to wait so long between event and sharing!

Thoughts on antique maternity...

2005-01-20T15:12:00.000-07:00

There's been a hue and cry of late concerning the 66 year old Romanian woman who has become a mom for the first time. Much has been made of her age, and many have been outraged at her and at the medical community that enabled the birth.

I'm of two minds on the subject. On the one hand, my small-l liberal, feminist side tells me that if her body was capable of sustaining the "miracle" of birth, she has every right to give it a go, that to protest against an aged mother not being able to nurture her child is a blatant hypocrisy when the media celebrates every 80 year old man who gets it up long enough to impregnate a trophy wife. After recently running afoul of my own beliefs about gender roles in child-rearing, I wouldn't want to assume that she is the only one capable of raising that child.

Yes, she will die before her child is an adult. Big deal. So do many young, healthy parents. The vagaries of fortune dictate that some will die of illness, some will die of malice, some will die by accident, and some will be swept to sea by the wrath of mother nature. This is fact. We operate every single day on the assumption that we will live forever; if we didn't, we wouldn't be able to leave the house in the morning (not that that would save us - most accidents happen at home). In any case, people die, whether they are young and strong or old and weak. Being a parent won't change that.

I won't belabour the obvious point that her child could also predecease her, a victim of any of the many reasons a child may die young. However, I think that a realist will point out that none of us knows what tomorrow may bring. A prudent parent plans for his or her own mortality, recognizing that life has many twists and turns, and a good plan beats cock-eyed optimism any day. If the woman has planned for her future (and, as she's been bombarded by doom-and-gloomers, she has), she already has a good friend or family member waiting in the wings to step in should it become necessary.

I don't want to make light of the pain her child will feel upon her mother's demise - it'll hurt like hell. The death of a loved one always does. However, fear of pain is not the way to live life (unless your lower back hurts like mine does - then fear of pain is the only way to live!). To forgo having a child, in order to save that child future pain, is foolish. Parents inflict pain on their children all the time, in the form of corporal punishment, mind games, and piano recitals.

The other, right-wing, knee-jerk side asks 'what was she thinking?!' She's not likely to see the child live to adulthood, and the risks she took with the child's development by reproducing at that age are fearsome to contemplate (how many times have 40-ish women been warned of the developmental problems they risk because they chose to wait?).

It's one thing to risk dying before a child (after all, every soppy '80s-era movie of the week featured some young woman forgoing chemo in order to have a child, an act that shortened her own life, and usually left her mother and doctor teary-eyed at her bravery), it's another to play Russion roulette with its health. Yet, how different is that action from all the doctors on the evening news, trumpeting their success at keeping some miniscule preemie baby alive, regardless of the problems it may encounter later in life.

See what I mean? The issues are extremely complex. Just because technology allows us to do something (give birth in our 60s, clone sheep, genetically modify our food) doesn't mean we should do it. However, it doesn't mean we shouldn't do it, either (aggressive cancer treatments, in vitro fertilization, computer animated cartoons).

Nor should we assume that, just because something has been done and paraded in the media as a triumph, we get a say in the matter. Why should we assume we have the right to comment on this woman's private decision? In a culture that values individual choice, as long as it doesn't come at the expense of one's neighbour, exactly when did this woman invite us to criticize her choice? When did she stand up and say "make an example of me - base policy around my decision - feel free to tell me exactly what you think of my choices"? We're all fired-up on privacy rights, yet you can bet people have sent this woman letters of support and letters denouncing her every move.

Being a young mom doesn't make you a good mom, nor does being an old mom make you a bad one. How many grannies out there are raising their grandchildren right now? How many are trying to figure out what the difference is--they, at least, were spared the trauma of birth, but in every other way that matters, Big Mama, Nana, Gramma, Gran, Bubba and MeeMaw are mothering children 50 or 60 years their junior, and no one says boo. Then again, none of them are on TV...

Bottom line for me: just because one woman has made a choice that we don't agree with doesn't mean that a) others will follow in her footsteps, or b) we have to create an entire field of study and branch of policy around the act. Let's not make such a huge deal out of this situation that it will cause a lot of nutcases to crawl out of the woodwork and try the same thing, but at a more advanced age, in order to get their slice of the limelight. After all, getting a group discount on diapers is no reason to have a baby.

Thoughts and things

2005-01-20T13:27:00.000-07:00

American Idol has started again. I try to avoid it like the plague upon our planet that it is, but unless you cease watching/reading/listening to the news, eschew coffee at work, and run from co-workers, it's impossible to completely avoid. I found an interesting article that appears to address the first few episodes of American Idol - the weeks when all you see are the William Hung's of America: those who can't sing, can't dance, and have no stage presence (the triple threats). The article is posted on the American Psychological Association's website, entitled Why we overestimate our competence. Apparently, the worse you are at something in our culture, the more deluded you are about your real ability.
Caught another stunning episode of Lost last night. I'd say that I'm starting to figure a few things out, but I'm sure that I'm just over-estimating my cognitive abilities!
Haven't started on the dream journal yet - my dreams of late have been fragmented and not at all narrative in nature. Perhaps it has something to do with the jellybeans I've been consuming while reading in bed every night? Time will tell, as the jellybeans are now history!
Haven't read much of anything of interest lately. Finished the first in a sci-fi trilogy called Slaves of the Volcano God. It kind of put me off reading the other two books (Bride of Slime Monster and Revenge of the Fluffy Bunnies). The premise was interesting - the movies of the 30's onward were set in real worlds, where movie logic prevailed (for instance, you will always get to your destination faster while singing a cowboy song). As movies started to become more "realistic", these worlds started losing cohesion and breaking down, allowing characters to start moving from movie world to movie world (imagine Tarzan on a pirate ship). Sigh. I enjoyed the author's more straightforward scifi, such as Dragon Sleeping, which, now that I think about it, has a similar sense of disconnection from the "real" world.
And, speaking of dragons and fantasy, I've picked up but haven't finished reading the final books in The Banned and The Banished series (aka the Wit'ch books) by James Clemens. Pick them up if you get a chance.

Just when you thought it was safe...

2005-01-19T13:29:00.000-07:00

Just when you thought you'd seen it all, along comes Darth Tater - a Mr. Potato Head in dark lord drag. While I mock, you must realize that I'll also think seriously about adding this to my birthday wish list...
Richard Hatch (Survivor's season 1 winner - aka fat, naked gay guy) pleads guilty to tax evasion (what kind of an idiot fails to declare the million dollars that most of the country saw him win??)
Here's my weekly commentary on this season's Amazing Race:
Ding dong! The witch is dead! And with her, the creepy, underwear-exposing, lunatic-raving monkey. Yes, Johnathan and Victoria are gone!

I had a feeling this would be a good episode. Not just because my sister called me right as it started to tell me who would be voted out. I watched Bolo thump his head on the doorframe of the plane, and had to giggle shamelessly.

I did rant and throw pillows when Kendra opined first on travelling to Ethiopia ('we just were in a 3rd world country and now we have to go back...*sneer*'), and then made like a REALLY ugly American when she landed ('I guess they just choose to live in poverty').

However, I giggled when Victoria hurt herself (especially after seeing the miniscule boo-boo on her finger). I chortled when Adam hiked miles out of his way and then freaked out when realizing that he'd screwed up. I guffawed when Lori knelt before the priest in the church (she can't pronounce Nice correctly, but nothing is going to stop her and her fake chest from showing respect in church!).

But what really made me roll on the floor was watching J&V bicker all the way to the farmer, only to find out that they were too clueless to read the clue! From the moment they turned around and hiked back to the donkeys, I was rubbing my hands in anticipation of the look on Phil's face when he FINALLY got to punt them.

All in all, it was a great episode. Adam and Rebecca melted down...again. What else is new?
In other news - I've been meaning to post this for awhile. Johnny Incognito, a great punk band based in Calgary, has a great little website. Of particular interest is the lead singer (Big Ugly Jim). In another incarnation, he was an instructor, and he writes for a number of interesting zines. Check out the "Big Ugly World" link for some of his political articles/rants.
Worked out last night with Kelly, thus getting Mick off my back. Did a mile, which was good. Got a blister, which wasn't. Foots hurt, but I'm trying to convince self that it's a good pain. Self is not buying it yet. Might need to feed self some chocolate to get back on its good side. Will be going to gym tomorrow and Friday, thus completing my commitment of 3 visits per week. Yesterday, discovered that the commitment was for 6 weeks. Self demanded (and received) a post-work-out burger in consolation. Brain pointed out the futility of working out only to eat a burger, but shut up when body reminded brain that working out at all was brain's idea, and that body was more than willing to park on couch and watch reality television. Brain piped down but is now quietly plotting to work up a good anxiety attack that will immediately punish colon.

What's going on - Jan. 14

2005-01-14T07:28:00.000-07:00

Things have been fairly busy for me lately, thus the dearth of new postings (I read and obey, frazzled!). In any case, here's some stuff that's been happening:

One of my favourite CBC columnists, Jocelyn Hainesworth, has parted ways with the mother corp, and has started her own blog. I came late to her writing, but have become entranced by her spot-on descriptions of farm life and all its trials and tribulations.
The cast of the new Survivor has been announced. Those of you who read along know of my recent, unfortunate addiction to mocking this show. Speaking of mock-worthy, I caught the first episode of the weirdest competition ever: Wickedly Perfect. I was floored when a contestant won a truck for her creation of a cocout-coated carmel apple invitation. It was cute and all, but damn! Missed it this week, and that's probably "a good thing" ;).
This bizarre clip landed in my inbox this week *shudder*. I was taken completely off-guard...stunts and special effects combine to create a truly creepy couple seconds of film.
As a Cancer, I'm always looking back at where I've been. Here's a great review of the year that was...from the American perspective.

What's going on - Jan. 5

2005-01-05T13:30:00.000-07:00

I'm baaaaaack! I know you missed me. I spent a lovely week or so at the farm, avoiding the frosty outdoors as much as possible. I did, however, make time for some reading, in between watching disaster coverage (for a wonderfully pointed review of Canada's response, read the lovely words of Rex Murphy. The man knows how to write - it's always such a pleasure to read his columns or watch him commentate on the CBC). A brief sampling: "It is an axiom of this world that the worst things happen in the poorest places to people in the weakest circumstances."
A wonderful book that took me away from tragedy in the last few weeks: American Gods by Neil Gaiman. Brilliant premise, sparse, compelling narration, a real treat. Read the review at Amazon.
One of my resolutions this year was to start a dream journal. Those of you who know me know that my dreams are oft-bizarre concoctions that stick with me for years (my high school friends might remember the weird dream of the double-amputee gopher, tooling down the highway in a mini wheelchair). I've not yet decided if I'll post the journal here, or create a separate blog to house them. Time will tell...
Had lunch with a colleague and found myself tripping over my old-fashioned notions. Her husband has taken time off to raise their new-born son, as he did when their daughter was born. In this case, she took only a short leave, to coordinate with the maternity leave of another member of her team. I found myself listening to stories about how her husband spends his time and caught myself wanting to ask what her contribution to the new child was. What a bizarre notion - I fully support parental leave, and think the world might be a different/better/more interesting place if more men decided to take on early parental responsibilities. Yet, when faced with this very plan in action, seeing that it works very well for both of them, I found myself surprised and almost disappointed in her willingness to step away from the hands-on parenting of the first year. This, when many moms I know couldn't wait to return to the workforce - sure, they were guilty being away from their babies, but they were going nuts at home with no one to talk to, decreased family income, and expectations that they'd suddenly turn into Martha Stewart. I guess the lesson for me here was that I should dust off my ideals a bit more frequently, so they aren't so rusty when I see them in action.

What's happening - Dec. 22

2004-12-22T08:10:00.000-07:00

A lovely article by well-known Canadian journalist Don Murray, featuring 1000 years of etiquette and this immortal line: "It is impolite to greet someone who is urinating or defecating." Lovely! Hard to argue with that, isn't it?

What's happening - Dec. 21

2004-12-21T13:15:00.000-07:00

Happy winter solstice to one and all - I think it's important to note the turning of the seasons, regardless of your religious or spiritual persuasion. I won't get all airy-fairy, but anyone who has lived close to the land knows that the seasons are important and meaningful - even if the first day of winter seems like it should have been a loooong time ago. In any case, the days will slowly begin to lengthen, and I and many others will start to find it slightly easier to haul our motionless carcasses out of bed as the sun starts setting its alarm clock earlier. Speed the day!
Read a wonderful article by political commentator Arianna Huffington. She's asking all of the questions that American politicians should have been asking long since regarding the war in Iraq - where has the money been going, what is the plan to get out of the country, why aren't the soldiers as well-equipped as possible, and what is being done to bring the conflict to a close? You don't have to be a liberal to find the article thought-provoking (although I suspect it helps! ;). For a rightist look at the world, read Peggy Noonan. Politically, I often disagree with her stance, but God! She's a hell of a writer, and I read her columns for clarity. I also read and enjoyed her memoir - What I Saw at the Revolution: A Political Life in the Reagan Era.
Roger Ebert lists his top movies of 2004. Sadly, I've missed most of them. It's hard to squeeze in much movie watching when you're addicted to reality television!

What's goin' on (oooh, what's goin' on...) - Dec. 20

2004-12-20T08:25:00.000-07:00

Looking for weird news? Okay, you don't have to look far to find weird, off-beat news stories, but here's a blog with a bit of wit and excellent access to newswires. It's called Strange Blog: Offbeat news about the stupid and unfortunate. Which summarizes most news reports, when you think about it...
Worked on my Christmas cards this weekend, but didn't complete them. It's the only time of year that I correspond with some of the people on the list, and so I don't want to not finish and send them. Still, there's always the saddish time when you go through the address book and try to figure out which people you would be able to recognize in a police line-up, which ones have sent cards back to you in the last few years, and which ones are officially being pruned from your listing. To make matters especially thorny, I'm planning to travel once again to the Minnesota Renaissance Festival - so the dilemma is: do I send cards to people in MN that I haven't seen or spoken to in 3 years, just because I'll be in the area next fall and might want to stop in and see them? Things that make you go hmmmm.....
One-stop shopping for weirdness and bizarre videos: Rathergood.com
Tonight, I go to Basia's house for a solstice-eve party. Good food, good times. Wheee!
Here's a sweet blog written by a 91 year old tomato fancier. He also maintains a journal. Take a peek if you're in need of a smile...

What I'm reading - Dec. 14

2004-12-14T14:58:00.000-07:00

A bit of yummy eye-candy: a firefighter's calendar (3 years worth of images)
Looking for an alternative to expensive vacations? Consider working as a house-sitter. These folks appear to have positions open all over the world. I'd definitely consider them -- if I had a life and could afford to travel!
When I get bored, I periodically google myself (ego-surfing) - not just because I want to see how often my name appears, but because it's kind of intersting to see the contexts in which one's name appears. There are people out there who share my name running local chapters of the NAACP, administering senior's homes, and even (here's a shocker) teaching English in university. It's a fun mind game to see who you might have been and what you may have done in a different life.

What I'm reading - Dec. 13

2004-12-13T07:36:00.000-07:00

Here's a great letter written by Michael Moore. He makes an interesting connection between Republicans and abusive spouses. It's a bit preachy, but it's an analogy I'd not run across before, so I was intrigued.
Speaking of things American, today is the first anniversary of the day that US troops pulled Saddam out of a hole in the ground. Remember that dramatic footage? Been a long time since we heard much about Saddam, hasn't it?
I won the office pool for Survivor: Vanuatu last night. In some ways, it was kind of anti-climactic for me, as both contestants making the final 2 were mine in the pool. Still, the extra cash will come in handy!
Someone actually filed a patent for the comb-over. Wonder if they've ever tried to sue The Donald for blatantly stealing their invention?

What I'm reading/watching/thinking about - Dec. 9

2004-12-09T15:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, not reading, but definitely droooooling over some lovely firefighter pictures. Check 'em out here. My only complaint, while staring at these lovelies, is that some fool decided to include children in some of the pictures. Thanks for making me feel like a pervert! Know thy audience!
Once upon a time, I attended a fabulous drag show (not the one I was supposed to go to this weekend - mea culpa, Thomas!), and the headliner sang this amazing song. I finally tracked down lyrics - they aren't formatted nicely, but you get the gist. I'll keep my ears out for an online version of the song - it's fabulous.
Remember when the 'net was new, and there weren't a lot of graphics around, and we'd do anything to personalize an email? Including building cute/weird little graphics out of ascii characters? Well, apparently this is not a dying art. Who knew? The folks at The Hottest Babes come in ASCII have actually dedicated time to creating ascii portraits of famous women. Why? Good question. They seem very intent on ascii-izing as many Hollywood hotties as possible. Granted, it's kind of cool, but the question remains - have they no life? I think we know the answer to that...
Survivor: Vanuatu is winding up (finally). The big season finale is on Sunday. I'm in an office pool, and the two castaways I've got money on (Chris and Twila) are still in the running. The previews for tonight's episode show Twila melting down, but I still think Chris has a shot. If you're interested in following along at this late stage, check out the Canoe site, they've usually got some interesting points to make.
Finally, did you catch last night's episode of Lost? Except for a few gratuitous flashback scenes about the doctor and his daddy that I could have lived without, it was great! Lots of great twists, as always. It's like watching the most engrossing movie you've ever seen - with too many commercials. They often end on a cliffhanger that keeps pulling you back week after week. I'm so glad I started watching, and I'm sure I'll be buying the DVDs of the first season, so I can watch the clues they've embedded in the series thus far. If you know someone who has taped the season thus far, beg-borrow-steal their tapes and get hooked yourself. It's the most interesting television show in ages (discounting those interesting ones that come on and are promptly cancelled, lest we start using our minds and thinking for ourselves).

What I'm reading - Dec. 8

2004-12-08T13:22:00.000-07:00

Ran across a website dedicated to the architect Christopher Wren and was pleasantly surprised to see the epitaph composed by his son, containing the phrase si monumentum requiris, circumspice. This rang all kinds of bells for me - I once won an elementary spelling bee using this phrase. Of course, as I was about 10 at the time and hadn't studied Latin, I didn't realize either its true meaning or that it was in a different language (looking back, I don't think the teacher realized either!). Instead, I spelled it all as 1 word (pronounced "simon...") and gave the definition as a statue. Strange how these things stick in your mind and come popping up at the weirdest times! By the way, the phrase means "if you seek his monument, look around you" - especially fitting for an architect.
Here's a fun read - a website dedicated to crop and ice circles - I found it because it makes reference to a crop circle found south of Etzikom, my home town.
If you're looking for a good read, try the works of Sheri S. Tepper. I googled Tepper to see if she had any new SF novels out and discovered that she writes mysteries under a pseudonym. I enjoy her down-to-earth SF writing (she often explores the role of outcast, the misunderstood misfit, and tons of good feminist stuff, while avoiding preachiness for the most part), so can't wait to pick up a mystery and see if it translates into whodunnit.

What I'm reading - Dec. 7

2004-12-07T10:22:00.000-07:00

I've never been to Burning Man, but I love reading about the event. See the main page, and a wonderful summary from the CBC. I've often wondered, if I did attend, what my "gift economy" contribution would be. I think a lot of people give away stuff, and let's face it, most North Americans need more stuff like they need a hole in the head. Instead, I think I'd give away hugs. Everyone needs a hug - a good, strong, maternal hug that tells you it's all okay. What would you bring to the Burning Man party?
I really enjoy the columns by CBC contributer Jocelyn Hainsworth. She presents the farming condition with with and compassion.
Found this site and thought I'd recommend it to those of you searching for a fellow geek with whom to connect: Science Connection.

What I'm reading - December 3

2004-12-03T15:32:00.000-07:00

Dec. 3:

Another excellent tribute to Pierre Burton, here.
Speaking of tributes, read this wonderful one to Spalding Gray, an actor and performer I admired greatly. Written as news of his disappearance was starting to sink in and people were starting to use the "S" word, it captures the great humour and wit of the man, while at the same time, it's a great jumping-off point for the lengthy list of blogged tributes that follow.
The funniest episode of Who's Line is it Anyway (okay, I watched, not read, that one)

Denizens of DeVry - where are you now?

2004-12-02T17:09:00.000-07:00

Dec. 2

Some of my former students have their own blogs or sites. See, for instance Jayce's and Marshall's, two of the more talented and memorable students I had the pleasure of teaching (or, in Jayce's case, speaking toward while he played freecell).
Teachers like Leon and Joe are still at it, as are Ken and Roger

Looking for work?

2004-12-02T16:37:00.000-07:00

Dec. 2

Looking for work? My sister's company is hiring a number of different folks.
A friend's company helps job seekers in Western Canada locate employment in a number of fields. They also have lots of useful resources you can access for free.

What I'm reading - December 2

2004-12-02T09:48:00.000-07:00

As you may know, freaky-sideburned, nattily dressed historian/newscaster Pierre Berton died recently. Here's a tribute that I enjoyed, referencing Berton's firing from Maclean's magazine in the early '60s for suggesting it was better for teens to have sex in a comfortable bed rather than the backseat of a car. More recently, he enjoyed a resurgence of interest when appearing on Rick Mercer's show to demonstrate the best way to roll a joint. What a character!
A colleague at work is quitting his job and hitting the open road. Follow his journeys here.

Reality TV

2004-12-01T23:31:00.000-07:00

Okay, I wasn't terribly interested in Survivor. At first. Then, as time went by and more and more people started talking about this evil genius, Richard Hatch, I decided to tune in (Lord knows, I hate having nothing to add to a conversation!). I was hooked, but played it cool. It's just one show - I can quit whenever I want.

And I did, for a long time. The 2nd Survivor was boring in comparison, so I tuned out. Sure, I heard rumblings about other reality shows (my grandmother is hooked on Fear Factor, of all things), but I resisted the urge.

Then a few co-workers invited me to part of an office pool. Well, I could hardly risk $5 on a show and not watch it, right? And I discovered that if I watched, I had opinions, usually voiced in a highly snarky tone, which others seemed to enjoy. Okay, one is fine, I can handle just one.

But then! I started working with a team, where everyone was hooked. Suddently, it wasn't just Survivor All-Stars (lost that pool - bet on Richard again), it was Amazing Race (won that one! Yay, Chip-n-Dip!). Okay, okay. I can control myself. Then Apprentice - everyone was talking about it, and I just had to be part of that conversation. Soon, I was starting to sneak in a little Rebel Billionaire, more Survivor, more Amazing Race (my money is on Don & MJ), a little Outback Jack, some Joe Schmo, enough Bachelor and Swan to speak of them disparingly.

Well, soon, my entire viewing schedule was cluttered with these shows. I admit it - I have no willpower where reality TV is concerned. I don't even enjoy most of the shows. For the sake of all involved, I've cut back to just the shows where I've got money at stake (Amazing Race, Survivor), and the occasional peek at The Donald's comb-over.

But now I'm hooked on Television Without Pity, where I can get a hit of these shows, without taking the time to watch them. Thank God for the internet, eh?

Etzikom School Reunion

2004-12-01T23:27:00.000-07:00

I'm helping the committee plan and organize an all-year's school reunion for my old school - Etzikom. It's looking interesting so far - lots of interest. There's bound to be people there I haven't seen in ages. I know, there's a reason I haven't been in touch with them, but now might be a good time to renew the acquaintance and see who I can stand (and who can stand me!).

If you happen to be an Etzikom ex-pat, check out our website.

Open Homes - Dawnski!

2004-12-01T23:15:00.000-07:00

Everyone's favourite mama, Dawnski, finally had her television debut on the series "Open Homes". She and Tom and Isaac gave their home a wonderful makeover, with the assistance of the OH crew. They trimmed back the jungle inside and out, and took the living room to the beach. Read about her experiences here.

Did anyone else catch this great episode?

First of many

2004-12-01T17:09:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post - I've finally succumbed to the siren song of the blog. I'll be updating regularly when I should be doing other things. Feel free to comment on any of my ramblings and musings.